Healing
by Hotaru Nakama
Summary: In the wake of the betrayal of a colleague, a wealthy CEO and his assistant try to make sense of things, and their strained relationship begins to grow into understanding.. and possibly love? AU. Yaoi Lemon. Byakuya/Renji with other side pairings.
1. Take Me Home

**Take Me Home**

"Would you like some tea, Mr. Kuchiki, sir?"

The midnight-haired CEO of _Hogyouku Financial _and the heir to the famed Kuchiki dynasty looked up from his neatly organized desk where he was putting his signature on some documents at his crimson-haired, tattooed executive assistant whose bulky form shadowed the doorway of his office. "Yes, Renji," Byakuya said in his deep, calm tone. "Tea would be nice. Thank you."

Renji gave a slight tilt of his head as means of a bow. "Yes, sir, be right back with that."

Byakuya simply nodded and went back to the workload in front of him. Renji bit his lip, debating on saying more as he watched his boss worriedly, noting the almost imperceptible grimaces of pain every time he moved the in a way that reawakened his still healing wounds and the shadows of exhaustion under his long-lashed, slate gray eyes.

In the end, he reluctantly decided he'd spare himself a reprimand for his assumption that his superior needed to be looked after and instead turned down the hall toward the break room, surveying the rest of his co-workers on his way. They worked as busily as ever, but there was a palpable tension in the air that silenced the usual idle chatter and made everyone on edge in the workplace that was normally so relaxed, at least when Mr. Kuchiki wasn't around. It had been this way for weeks, ever since it happened, and no amount of effort by him or the boss to go on with life after the scandal could dissipate the uneasiness of their subordinates.

_Hogyouku_ was one of thirteen subdivisions of the larger _Gotei Business & Financial Incorporated_. Each branch provided funds and ran the accounts for any business or group housed within or that offered their services to the Siereitei metropolitan area; for example, _Boshi (Warrior) Company _funded the operations of Siereitei's military corps and was run by Zaraki Kenpachi, a fearsome man who was a decorated war veteran himself. _Minazuki Medical Aid _was responsible for providing all the major hospitals and clinics within Siereitei with the monetary resources to continue to pay their staffs fairly and keep needed supplies always in stock, while _Kurotsuchi and Yachiru's _helped with the research and development for local science groups. For the most part, all thirteen subdivisions worked together and had very few complications... That is, until _Gotei _and every subsequent branch were nearly torn apart by a traitor within their very own network, a man who was before his defection from the company as revered and well thought of as Byakuya Kuchiki.

Sosuke Aizen was the CEO of _Kyoka Suigetsu Corporation _which handled all of Siereitei's legal and criminal issues. He was a seemingly kind, soft-spoken and bespectacled man who preached about love and even claimed the Lily of the Valley, a symbol of pure love and sweetness as his company's symbol, and was deeply admired by all his subordinates. No one suspected that he and the heads of both the third and ninth subdivisions were planning the biggest scandal in all of _Gotei'_s history.

Sosuke had a secret desire to take over the head company and wanted to do so using stolen information from an account handled by _Hogyouku _as well as making Byakuya Kuchiki's own adoptive sister Rukia into an unwitting puppet in his scheme. He'd made it appear as though she had been pilfering the documents for the account, then filed untrue claims of treason and embezzlement to Siereitei's police force which resulted in Rukia's imprisonment and placement on death row. On the day she was supposed to be put to death, a young teenage boy named Ichigo Kurosaki who had befriended Rukia months before came forward with information that proved she was innocent of the crimes she was accused of and that Sosuke manipulated the judicial system to give her a more harsh sentence than was deserved. All hell broke loose then, resulting in Sosuke, Gin Ichimaru and Kaname Tosen stepping forward to confess their evil schemes. Afterward they disappeared, but not before Gin Ichimaru trained a pistol on Rukia and fired, hitting Byakuya in the chest instead when he jumped in front of his sister.

He'd spent two days ICU and a subsequent three weeks in the hospital until he was finally healed enough return to his home. The doctor recommended that he stay on bed-rest or at least remain house-ridden until he could build his strength up, but of course Byakuya hadn't listened to the advice of his doctors and was back at work two days after his release from the hospital. Everyone else blamed it on the infamous workaholic nature that seemed inherent in the Kuchiki bloodline, however Renji understood there was a much deeper reason why Byakuya was pushing himself so hard, so quickly.

Beyond the trauma of a near-fatal gunshot wound that narrowly missed his heart, even worse than suffering through what was only the beginning of a long and painful recovery was the blow to the noble man's deep but fragile pride. A bratty, orange-haired teenage boy had the courage to stand up and fight to save his sister, even stormed into _Hogyouku_ and called Byakuya out in front of everyone for not doing all he could to rescue her himself. Even Renji publicly attacked him for his failures as an older brother. The memories of their conflict still greatly strained their already tenuous relationship even though now they had an understanding of each other, and Renji found himself regretting the callous way in which he went about it although he still stood firmly by his reasons. Still, it was the final indignity for his boss, not only having a stranger call him out but also his most trusted and closest subordinate. Staying at home and having people treating him with pity like he was nothing but a weakling would only push him further into the abyss of his shame and self-hatred.

Renji sighed heavily to himself as he poured the tea he'd just taken off the small stove from the kettle into Byakuya's favorite cup, then made his way back down the hall to Byakuya's office. In many ways, he empathized with Byakuya on his feelings about the way everything transpired with Rukia. She and Renji had grown up together in Rukongai, a down-trodden, poor town just a few miles away from Siereitei City.

The two homeless orphans met by chance, and over time along with a few of the other kids who lived in the area, formed their own kind of family. Renji was actually more of a brother to Rukia than Byakuya, though he would never say such a thing aloud. But it was after they went to live at _The Inuzuri Academy for Underprivileged Children _that Rukia was introduced to Byakuya when he came to make a donation for the school, and was soon adopted into his family. Renji hated Byakuya in those days, vowing that one day he would surpass the man who stole away the only sister he'd ever had and ruin the Kuchiki name for good. However, years later when Renji graduated from the academy Byakuya had returned to inform Renji there was an opening within the _Gotei _company that he thought the redhead would qualify for and Byakuya would be willing to help him get the job. Coincidentally, it was a position in Sosuke Aizen's firm. Renji jumped at the chance and in the end did accept the job with Sosuke, however less than a year later he was transferred without explanation to Kenpachi Zaraki's company. He stayed there for three years before Byakuya paid him yet another unexpected visit, offering him the position of executive assistant. Surprised but more than willing to finally have a shot at his dream of getting close enough to Byakuya Kuchiki to surpass him, he left _Boshi _and began working at _Hogyouku. _The rest was history.

But ultimately not even his position in the company gave him the power or courage to fully win against Byakuya and save Rukia, and the title of hero still went to that ginger-haired delinquent Ichigo. Even standing up and defending her wasn't enough, all it had really accomplished was to make things even more awkward around his boss, and he was left with the same bitter taste of defeat in his mouth that Rukia's aristocratic brother had.

Renji turned into the doorway of Byakuya's office, opening his mouth to announce his return with the requested tea, but the words died on his lips as he caught sight of the midnight-haired man slumped over his desk with one hand on his mid-section where he'd been shot and the other shakily grasping the smooth tabletop, a look of sheer agony contorting his usually perfectly composed, delicate features. Renji chewed on his lip, unsure of what to do, then softly cleared his throat.

Byakuya's eyes blinked open and flicked upward to him, the hand on his stomach running over his shirt lightly as if he was merely brushing off imaginary bits of lint, his expression placid once again.

"Um," Renji faltered, looking down into the cup of green tea in his hand. "I, uh, brought your..."

"Right, the tea," Byakuya said calmly, though Renji noted his voice held the slightest amount of strain. "Thank you again, Renji."

Renji put on his best casual smile and nodded. "Sure thing, sir," he said as he came over and deposited the cup next to his boss's elbow. He paused for a moment, watching Byakuya pick up the cup and take a few small sips, then set it back down. Renji noted his hands were shaking lightly as he picked up his pen to return to work.

"Was there something else, Renji?"

The redhead startled a bit, then shook his head. "No, um, well, yeah..." he stammered, feeling a blush rise up his neck to his cheeks as his boss looked up at him with a slightly annoyed expression. "It's just that you look... uh, a little tired, sir. Are you sure you're all right? Would you want me to call you a cab and finish up the work around here for today so you can just go home and relax?"

He expected to be given the cold shoulder and told he didn't need to be looked after, especially by his assistant of all people, but to his surprise the noble-blooded man sighed quietly and laid his pen back down. "Yes, I suppose that would be for the best, I am feeling a little run down still and perhaps some rest will remedy my weariness," Byakuya said in acquiescence.

Renji blinked, then nodded and bowed again. "Yes, sir, I'll go and call your cab now," he said before disappearing down the hall to call the taxi service.

When Byakuya's taxi finally arrived several minutes later Renji went to help him collect his things into his briefcase, then carried it for him as he escorted his boss downstairs, noticing the man limping slightly as he walked. Renji settled Byakuya into the backseat of the taxi, then came around to the other side and climbed in next to him.

"I thought you were staying behind to attend to the rest of the workload?" Byakuya asked in confusion, one raven eyebrow arching inquisitively.

"Oh yeah, about that," Renji answered, rubbing his neck a little sheepishly. "Rikichi told me he would handle everything else for today and make sure the documents you've already signed get sent to the appropriate places so I could... go with you to make sure you're alright. If that's alright with you, sir."

Now the dark smoky eyes narrowed at him suspiciously. "What are you about, Renji? You are my assistant during business hours, but you are not required to see to any of my needs outside the office, those responsibilities fall to my household staff. Despite my recent injury I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, I do not need anyone to look after me, and it certainly isn't your duty to do so."

_Shit, I knew this was a bad idea. Way to piss him off, Abarai, now he just thinks you pity him_, Renji mentally chastised himself as he started to back away. "Oh no, sir, I wasn't trying to imply that you _need_ my help, I know you don't, but it's just... Well, you didn't really get to enjoy your tea and you're always complaining that no one else on your staff knows how to make it the way you like it, so I thought I would come over to make you some more and see that you're settled in all right, then I'd leave again. But if you don't want me to, I understand..." he reached for the door handle, looking at the nobleman with uncertain garnet eyes.

Byakuya took a breath as he closed his smoky gray eyes for a moment, possibly looking annoyed by his redheaded assistant, but really only taking a moment to compose his thoughts. _I do not know whom I can trust anymore, my confidence has been manipulated far too many times. He has even openly admitted to accepting this position at my side only so he could personally see to my destruction, not knowing Aizen already had plans for that set into motion. Do I dare put faith into the instincts which have already betrayed me? Am I bold enough, or perhaps foolish enough to allow him closer still, or is this just another ploy to simply kick me while I am down? _He looked back up at the other man, opening his mouth to decline the offer, but instead heard a very different response leave his lips.

"Yes, I suppose that would be all right."

Renji froze in place, blinking several times as he stared at his midnight-haired boss as if he'd just sprouted a second head. "A – Are you sure, Mr. Kuchiki?"

"Usually I do not have the patience to repeat myself, but since you seem not to have heard me the first time, I said yes, Renji, you may accompany me to my home and make me the aforementioned tea. Am I being clear enough now, or would you like me to say it again in another language?"

"Uh, I, um, no, sir, I just, uh..." Renji stammered, looking down at his shoes, then snapped his head back up, burgundy eyes widening in shock. "Sir, did you just... Try to make a joke?"

"Yes, Renji, it happens now and then," Byakuya answered, his voice edged with the same note of sarcasm. "And judging by your reaction, I need to work on my comedic skills."

Renji chuckled, his mouth turning upward into a grin, the tension in his body relaxing somewhat. "No, sir, it was a good one, really! It just caught me off guard is all."

"I see," Byakuya nodded calmly, then turned his attention to the cab driver. "The 6th gate on Scatter Lane, Kageyoshi Court, please."

The driver nodded and pulled out into the busy streets, driving through the bustling metropolis and continued north about fifteen minutes up the slight incline of the hillside overlooking the city where the more expensive, older homes were nestled. Renji watched in fascination as they passed by one mansion after another, each one larger and grander than the one before it. Finally, they pulled alongside a seven-foot high cast-iron gate where Byakuya rolled down his window and pressed a button on the attached intercom for the voice-activated security system, waiting for the electronic voice to respond.

"Identification, please."

"Byakuya Soujun Kuchiki," Byakuya stated his full name, then rolled the window back up as the lock on the large, heavy door clinked opened, allowing the cab to enter onto the long, winding driveway.

Renji had to hold onto his jaw so it didn't fall on the floor as the cab approached the biggest, sprawling mansion in the entire neighborhood, two stories tall and painted white with dark blue shutters and big windows. The yard was beautifully landscaped with cobblestone walkways, cherry blossom trees and flowers of just about every variety and color. Being from a place like Rukongai with its run down, beat up homes and feral, untended flora and fauna, Renji had never seen anything like it in his entire life. Even the one bedroom apartment he was living in now on the outskirts of the city, upscale by his own standards, could fit inside the manor fifteen times over.

The cab stopped at the top of the driveway and Byakuya pulled out his wallet to pay, then he and Renji climbed out and the mesmerized redhead followed his boss toward the front door.


	2. Making Biscuits and Discoveries

**Making Biscuits and Discoveries**

**A/N: **Sorry for the teasing, guys! No new content in this chapter or the next one, I'm just chopping it up into smaller parts so it's not so much to take in all at once. I am so sorry it's taken me so long to get the new chapter for this up, life has seriously been insane lately, but it is very close to being finished and I promise it won't be too much longer before it's posted. As always, thank you so much for all your kind words and support for this story, it has made me feel so much better about it! I love you guys to the moon and back.

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><p>For all its lavish grandeur on the outside, the inner décor of the Kuchiki manor was surprisingly understated, warm and inviting with all the furnishings in soft earthen tones and made homely with family pictures hanging on the walls and passed-down heirlooms scattered around. He was sure that everything within the home was more expensive than he could even begin to imagine; the hardwood on the floors likely the finest quality that could be found, the rugs imported from Arabia or Indonesia and the furniture in the living room probably custom designed. But stylistically it was all very simple, not overly fancy or showy like one would expect coming into the home of the wealthiest man in the city.<p>

A young woman came down the staircase directly in front of them, hurrying over to Byakuya and bowing deeply. "Welcome home, Mr. Kuchiki," she said softly, taking his suit jacket and the pale green scarf he unwound from his throat when he held them out to her, then caught sight of Renji and moved over to take his coat, but stopped when he waved her off.

"Oh no thanks, I've got it," he told her as he removed his jacket and placed it on the coat-rack beside the door, thinking how out of place his bargain basement, knock-off Armani looked next to Byakuya's fine tailored clothing. _No matter how much I pretend, I'll never really belong in a place like this with people like him. I'm just a street rat in nice clothing, acting out a part I was never supposed to play._

"Would you like me to put on some tea, Mr. Kuchiki?" The pretty, small-framed maid with her mousy brown hair pulled back into a neat bun tied by a blue ribbon asked in a soft voice. She reminded Renji of his good friend Momo Hinamori, who he'd grown up with in Rukongai before they became fellow classmates in the academy.

_Poor Momo, _Renji mused sadly. _She was Aizen's assistant, the position she'd worked her entire life to obtain after she ran into him in Rukongai when those guys were trying to beat her up. From the day he saved her life, she admired and respected him more than anyone else in her entire life, and he was like a father to her when she began working at Kyoka Suigetsu. No one would have ever guessed he would have broken into the apartment of his most beloved subordinate to kill her on the eve of Rukia's execution. But he failed and she's alive, just barely, in the Siereitei 4th Division hospital. Her brother, Toshiro, has been at her bedside day and night since she was admitted. They say that she will make a full recovery, but the loss she's suffered will take a lot longer to mend than her body. I should go and check on her soon..._

"Thank you, Sukina, but Mr. Abarai has said that he will take care of the tea," Byakuya said, the sound of his name stirring Renji from his thoughts. "In fact, if you have finished all of your other duties for the day then you may be dismissed."

"Oh yes, sir, I have seen to all the housework and picked up all your dry-cleaning, the others are starting on supper," she told him. "Are you sure there is nothing else you need?" She glanced at Renji uncertainly, as if she didn't know whether to trust the crimson-haired outsider or not. He couldn't really blame her considering what had happened.

"No, that will be all, thank you again. Good evening, Sukina," he replied softly as she bowed and thanked him again, then went to grab her things before she left. Byakuya then turned his attention back to Renji. "Well then, I will show you into the kitchen and let Kasumi, my cook get you acclimated to everything so you can make us that tea."

"Okay, sir," Renji nodded as he began to follow the noble through the foyer into the kitchen, then stopped and cocked his head slightly. "Um, excuse me, but did you say 'make _us _some tea'?"

Byakuya loosed a quiet sigh, a barely-there smirk curling his thin lips. "My patience is wearing thin, Renji, please do not make me repeat myself once again. I thought since you were so kind to make such an offer, the least I can do is extend the courtesy of allowing you to stay and share in your efforts."

"Oh, well thank you, sir, I'd love to," Renji's grin nearly split his face, almost giddy with the prospect of Byakuya's offer as he ambled behind the raven-haired man into the spacious kitchen. He couldn't fully understand where his level of excitement came from, wondering at how just looking at the man made his heart speed up slightly and the soft shivers that went down his spine whenever he heard that deep, velvety, serene voice. _Well come on, who _**wouldn't **_want to spend the evening in a beautiful castle like this? _He reasoned with himself. _Plus I've been wanting a chance to maybe patch things up with him after everything that happened. I want him to understand that I might not have come into this position with the purest of motives, but things have changed now and I view him differently. He needs to know that he can still trust me, that I'm not gonna be like Aizen and just use him to get what I want._

After Byakuya showed Renji around the kitchen and introduced him to the other members of his staff, he retired to the garden where he told Renji to bring the tea when he was finished. It took him a while to figure out the stove – Byakuya had a newer model electric one while his at home was an old-fashioned gas – but he finally got the hang of it and finished up making the tea, almost ready to pour it into the china teacups Byakuya told him to use when suddenly he heard a deep voice behind him.

"Do you like biscuits with your tea, Renji?"

Renji startled at the question and only narrowly avoided spilling the hot tea from the kettle down his arm but managed to collect himself and smiled, unnerved when he felt a blush creeping up his cheeks. "W – What?" He stammered.

Byakuya cleared his throat softly and narrowed his eyes in warning, clearly getting annoyed.

"Oh, sorry, Mr. Kuchiki, you just caught me off guard is all. Yeah, I like biscuits," he answered as he went back to carefully pouring the tea into the cups.

Byakuya nodded, but surprised his assistant by not calling for a cook to make them for him, instead going over to the cupboard to pull out the ingredients himself. Renji watched in awed silence as the pretty noble – Wait, did he just think of his boss as _pretty_? – rolled up the long sleeves of his starched white dress shirt before putting in measured amounts of flour, sugar, eggs, butter and vegetable oil, then dove his pale, slender fingers into the gloppy mixture with reckless abandon, kneading the dough by hand.

_Such pretty hands_, Renji thought deliriously. _I wonder what those long, soft fingers would feel like playing over my skin, in my hair, or touching my... Wait, where in the hell did that just come from? Get a grip, Abarai, you're crackin' up! _He didn't even realized he'd let out a cough, only aware of the flush on his cheeks and the sudden tightness of his slacks on his crotch.

"What are you staring at?" Byakuya asked when he saw Renji gaping at him with wide eyes and a slightly open mouth. "Surely you do not think me so incompetent as to not be able to do a simple task such as this for myself. I may have people around to help me, but that does not mean I am so lazy that I never lend a hand," he said defensively, the offense evident in his voice. Renji couldn't blame him, he'd probably dealt with people's misjudgments of him because of his fancy clothes and huge manor that he was some rich, spoiled bastard who was too high and mighty to lift a finger his entire life.

"No, no, not at all, sir, I wouldn't think something like that about you," Renji assured him, looking back down quickly and busying himself with loading the tray in front of him with the cups and teapot. "A woman I knew in Rukongai used to make biscuits like that by hand. We didn't have any money to pay her, but I guess she took a liking to us because she'd always leave a batch out by the back door of her shop for us..." he trailed off slowly, feeling suddenly bashful. He usually didn't talk about his memories of Rukongai with anyone but Rukia, so he didn't know why he suddenly offered up such a thing to a man he really had no personal relationship with, and mentally kicked himself.

Byakuya, however simply listened with polite (though the redhead suspected feigned) interest, nodding. "My mother used to make them in this way before she passed on," he explained, skillfully working the dough into a neat ball. "But this particular recipe was my late wife, Hisana's," his voice took on a softer tone as he continued, his smoky eyes softening as he nodded over to the wall next to the fridge. "That was her in the picture."

Renji followed Byakuya's gaze to the simple-framed photo of his superior with a petite young woman that looked like she could be the identical twin of Rukia, down to her periwinkle blue eyes and the long strand of raven hair that fell down into her face. In the picture husband and wife sat beneath one of the many cherry blossom trees surrounding the manor, Byakuya holding her from behind with his head resting on her shoulder, both of them starry-eyed in love and smiling. Renji stared at the picture, not exactly sure what to say. He'd never heard Byakuya speak about his wife to anyone, never expecting his boss to reveal such a private thing to him, and he didn't want to dishonor it by saying the wrong thing.

"Wow," he finally answered softly. "She was really beautiful, sir. I'm... I'm really sorry." _Well, so much for not saying anything stupid_, he cringed inwardly.

"Yes, she was," Byakuya agreed, splitting the ball of dough in half before wrapping some in plastic wrap to freeze for later while he made their biscuits with the other half into small rounds with a circular cutter. Renji watched him for a moment, aching inside when he saw the way Byakuya's hands trembled slightly, blinking rapidly as if to stave off tears. His voice shook a bit when he spoke. "And... Thank you," he nearly whispered, stopping for a moment and just staring down at the marble counter top, his eyes full of unspeakable despair. But a moment later he straightened up and his stoic, calm mask was back in place as he continued. "By the way, Renji, we are no longer in the office. You are in my home sharing food and drink with me, so there is no need to be so formal. Just 'Byakuya' will do."

There it was again, that little flip-flop, staccato beat of his heart, unable to stop the grin that spread back across his face, his sharp canine teeth showing. "Oh, okay. Sure, no problem... Byakuya."

Byakuya gave another light smile in response, then greased a cookie sheet and laid out the cut biscuits on before sliding it into the oven he'd already set to preheat. There was a few scraps of dough left, so the noble picked up a small piece and extended it to Renji, still smiling a bit. "My mother always used to let me eat just a small bit of the raw dough. Taste it, it's quite good, not too sweet."

Renji chuckled softly, nervously, feeling the heat rise up to his cheeks once again as his heart pounded heavily inside his ribcage. For a moment he imagined bowing his head and taking the piece of dough with his mouth, his lips grazing that delicate, beautiful porcelain flesh, cleaning off the bits of flour and butter still clinging to those long, graceful fingertips with tongue and careful teeth. In his mind he envisioned dabbing bits of dough along the nobleman's slender, pale throat and eating it off, then feeding him some and plundering his sweet, pretty mouth before he pushed him up against the counter and... _Shit! What the fuck is wrong with me? I've never thought of Mr. Kuchiki, I mean, Byakuya this way... Of course he's a very attractive man, and I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality to admit that, but I've never imagined doing _**that **_with him before... Okay, there was that one time, but that was just a dream, it wasn't my fault! I'm not attracted to him like that, no way! _

Shaking his head slightly to clear his confused thoughts, Renji smiled and reached out to take the piece of dough with his fingers, popping it into his mouth. "Mmm," he sighed contentedly, giving a thumbs up. "Very good."

Byakuya smiled in return, surprised to feel heat flaming in his cheeks. He wasn't usually one to blush easily, but something in those lively garnet eyes along with that charming wolfish grin made his heart stir in a way he hadn't felt in a long time. And when those rough, calloused tan fingers brushed up against his own he found himself frozen on the spot, feeling the soft hammering of his heart as a jolt ran down his spine. As he turned around to wash his hands, a strange kind of dizzy feeling stole over him, making him grab onto the counter abruptly.

Renji gasped, darting forward with his arms extended to catch his unsteadily swaying boss to make sure he didn't fall. "Byakuya! Oh God, are you alright?" He asked worriedly, resting a hand on the slightly smaller man's back.

It took every ounce of self-control Byakuya had not to shiver at the other man's warm touch, closing his eyes as he breathed slowly, trying to get his composure back. "Yes, I am fine," he finally managed, stiffening under Renji's hand in hopes the redhead would pull away. _What is the matter with me? Why does the sound of his voice make the hairs on my neck stand up, and why do I ache inside every time he touches me? I have not felt this way since... Since..._

_Since I fell in love with my wife. But that is not possible, I cannot be falling in love with Renji. He is my subordinate, my sister's childhood best friend and a man of lower class than I, and besides I am not attracted to men... Am I?_ "Will you put the sheet in the oven, please?"

"Yeah, I got it, why don't you go over and sit down?" Renji said as he picked up the cookie sheet and placed it inside the oven before shutting the door. He cast worried roan-colored eyes back on his boss as the man slowly made his way over to one of the bar stools at the counter.

"I should have thought ahead," Byakuya said both to himself and his assistant. "By the time the biscuits are done our tea will be cold, and you know how strongly I dislike cold tea."

"Aw, don't worry about that," Renji waved him off, setting one cup and saucer in front of the smaller, raven-haired man before taking the second. "We'll start on this batch while they're baking, and if we need it I'll make some fresh after they come out."

Byakuya agreed, sipping his tea as Renji came around to sit on the stool beside him, keeping an eye on the biscuits in the oven. About twenty-five minutes later they were done, and Renji made a fresh kettle of tea before they retired to the beautiful garden that took over the entire space of the backyard. They sat at a small round table under a large sakura tree, eating and drinking. Conversation was stilted at first, but as time went on the atmosphere between them lightened enough for them to talk comfortably together, though both carefully avoided the subject of Aizen. Renji found himself opening up even more about his upbringing as a homeless child in one of the most dangerous and poverty-ridden areas in all of Japan. The midnight haired noble listened kindly, then once he finished surprised Renji once again by returning his gift of candor, sharing memories of his late wife leading up to when she tragically passed away from lung cancer.

"Hisana's last wish was to find the baby sister that she was forced to abandoned, but forced me to swear that if I ever found her I would never tell her the truth of why I adopted her into my family," Byakuya explained, his dark eyes clouding over in sadness again as he stared down into his teacup instead of looking at Renji. "After she died, I had all the best detectives in the country looking for the now young woman Hisana called Little Rukia, scouring every district in Rukongai high and low for any sign of her. Exactly one year later I received word that a girl who resembled Hisana had just entered into the _Inuzuri Academy_ that my family was setting up funds to benefit. They said that she came to the school with a young man named Renji," he finally lifted his eyes to meet garnet ones. "Two days later, I went to see her."

The crimson-haired man swallowed thickly, remembering well the day he'd gone running from his biology class where he'd just aced his final, a huge feat for the redhead who wasn't exactly known for his academic prowess, in search of Rukia. Finally he caught a glimpse of her raven hair in the commons area, barging into the room unceremoniously as he yelled her name excitedly.

"_Rukia, guess what!"_

_She turned her violet-blue eyes toward him, the expression on her face unreadable. Renji skidded to an ungraceful stop, the grin on his face slowly fading as he took in the rest of his surroundings. _

_An important looking man with neatly combed, shoulder length midnight black hair in an expensive three-piece suit sat in the chair across from Rukia, a few other men with him. The Dean of Admissions from the academy sat next to Rukia, speaking with her quietly. In her delicate hands she clutched a stack of papers and a pen. When Renji came in, she politely excused herself from the group with a bow and stood up, walking over to her life-long friend. _

"_Renji..." she began, her voice faltering as she wrung her hands together, staring down at her feet._

"_Hey Rukia, what's goin' on? Who are these guys?" He asked with a confused frown, glancing over at the men again, then startled when someone quietly cleared their throat from somewhere beside him._

"_Rukia, perhaps I should give you some time to consider my offer," the raven-haired man with steely gray eyes said, his eyes trailing over to scrutinize Renji for a moment, then returned to her again. "I will leave the number where you can reach me and you can inform me of your decision at your convenience."_

"_Th – Thank you, Mr. Kuchiki," Rukia said as she bowed again, watching the man who had just given her an offer that would change her entire life as he left with his entourage before looking back at the bewildered redhead. _

"_Ru, what's he talkin' about, what offer? Tell me what's going on!" Renji demanded, the panic rising in his chest like bile. _

"_That was Byakuya Kuchiki, he's the CEO of the Hogyouku Financial firm in Siereitei City," she explained, still looking a bit disoriented by the man's visit. _

"_Whoa, _**that's **_Byakuya Kuchiki? He's, like, the richest and most well-known businessman in all of the country! Everybody knows who he is. But then, why did he come here to see you?" He urged again, feeling more and more uneasy by the second._

"_Well..." Rukia bit her lip, rubbing her arm sheepishly. _

"_Rukia! Come on, what did he want?"_

_She dropped her crossed arms to her sides, meeting his garnet orbs with her periwinkle ones. "He came to ask me to come and live with him in the city. He wants to adopt me as his sister, and that if I accept his offer he'll see to it that I graduate early and get a job in his corporation right away."_

_And that was the moment Renji Abarai's life was torn into pieces, when everything he'd ever known, the only thing that ever truly mattered to him was ripped away in the blink of an eye._

Byakuya watched Renji silently, seeing the veil of sadness fall on his masculine, handsome face and suddenly felt unsure of what he should say next. His own mind replayed the events of that day like a motion picture, remembering the clumsy, brash redhead barging into the room where he was speaking with Rukia about the adoption, immediately drawing Byakuya's attention with his strong presence. He'd watched as the emotion on the young redhead's face turned from excitement to confusion, then fear and unspeakable pain when she finally broke the news that a man he'd never met wanted to break up the only family Renji had ever known.

The last thing Byakuya had heard before he left the school was the redhead's feigned encouragement of the adoption, telling Rukia how jealous he was of her and how freaking _amazing _it was. She was going to be a Kuchiki, living the life of luxury. Only a man who had spent years bottling up his emotions and putting up appearances to fool everyone could instantly recognize the tightly controlled hurt and anger beneath the phony excitement. A man like Byakuya Kuchiki.

"I know you held a great deal of resentment toward me for a long time, and maybe you still harbor some anger because of what I did and that is why you sought to surpass and eliminate me," Byakuya said softly, though his voice held no accusation or hostility. "But I want you to know that I do regret the way my adopting Rukia caused you such turmoil. I never intended that. All I was trying to do was to keep my the promises I made to my wife."

Now it was Renji's turn to be speechless. He stared about Byakuya, shocked by his boss' sudden apology, trying desperately to find some kind of response. "Mr. Kuchiki – Sorry, Byakuya, listen..."

"Excuse me, Mr. Kuchiki, Mr. Abarai," a male servant interrupted them with an apologetic bow. "Forgive the intrusion, but Ms. Kasumi said that supper is ready now."

Byakuya nodded at the boy. "All right, thank you, Kaito. Mr. Abarai and I will be in the dining room shortly."

"Yes, sir," the boy said with a bow, then hurried back into the manor, the men watching him go.

"A – Are you sure it's okay if I stay for dinner? I don't wanna inconvenience anyone..." Renji asked.

"It would be no inconvenience, I assure you. Of course you are not obligated to stay, but I would not mind the company," Byakuya answered, keeping his voice neutral so not to show his eagerness to keep his red-haired assistant there just a while longer. Rukia was spending most of her days with the Kurosaki boy, and Byakuya so hated the silence that permeated his time at home save for the few words spared between himself and the staff. _Still, being around him is much different, and I am beginning to appreciate the way he fills up this usually cold and lonely place with his warmth and easy-going nature. I used to find him a bit too obtrusive, but now I find it somewhat refreshing. My, how things can change._

"Yeah, sure, that sounds great," Renji answered, getting up with Byakuya and following him inside to the dining room, that light-headed feeling sweeping over him again.


	3. Watcher in the Night

**Watcher in the Night**

**A/N: Warnings: **Voyeurism, anal penetration, use of dildos, masturbation, kink, overall adult content/not safe for children.

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><p>Dinner went by with pleasant conversation and delicious food, although they never got back on the subject of Rukia so Renji didn't have the chance to tell Byakuya he no longer held any ill will toward him for adopting her. But he tried to communicate the sentiment in other ways, and Byakuya seemed to understand that whatever negativity existed between them before had greatly diminished if not completely disappeared. Once their meal was over Renji told Byakuya he needed to go, however every time the red-haired, tattooed assistant got ready to leave the CEO found another excuse to him to stay, and before Renji knew it the bright sunny, blue sky was replaced with deep indigo and studded with stars. He glanced down at his watch, his eyes widening at the numbers on the neon-lit digital screen: 10:45 PM.<p>

"Shit!" He cursed, then flushed deep red when he caught Byakuya looking at him with a raised dark eyebrow. "Sorry, I mean uh, darn, I didn't think it was this late. Listen, thank you so much for everything today, dinner was fucking amazing – erm, really great, and thanks for letting me share some tea and biscuits with you," he got up from the plush armchair he was sitting in and started for the door when Byakuya called out to him softly.

"Since it is so late, why not spare yourself the trouble of driving all the way back to your apartment? If you would like to stay there are a number of guest rooms for you to choose from that I can have one of my attendants make up for you tonight."

Renji stopped and looked back at the raven-haired, pale skinned man, unable to stop the smirk that quirked his lips as he raised a tattooed eyebrow. "Are you askin' me to spend the night?"

Byakuya smirked back slightly, crossing his arms. "Yes, I believe I am. Do you have a problem with that?"

_I really shouldn't, he's my boss and it really wouldn't be appropriate, even coming here and eating dinner was slightly crossing the boundaries of a working relationship. But it's not like I'm sleeping __**with **__him, I'd be in another room in my own bed. So, maybe it wouldn't be so bad... _He grinned and shrugged. "Nope, no problems at all. Thanks, it'll be nice to not have to drive all the way back to the city at this time of night."

"Very well then," Byakuya nodded, then called for a maid to fix up one of the guest rooms for Renji.

After she finished and came down to tell Renji his bedroom for the night was ready, both men retired to bed. The maid had chosen to do up the guest room across the hall from Byakuya's own master bedroom, and before they retired they turned and faced each other in the hallway.

"Well, goodnight then," Renji said a bit awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Goodnight, Renji, sleep well," Byakuya answered politely, turning into his room.

"Yeah, you too," the redhead replied as he started for his room as well, not seeing his boss turn to look after him.

_What in the world has come over me? _The gray-eyed man questioned himself silently. _My actions today have been entirely reckless and inappropriate, first inviting him in and sharing a meal and tea with him, and now letting him sleep in my home. This is the man who stood against me when Rukia was to be executed! Why is it that I suddenly feel so compelled to him now, why I am so willing to open myself up to trust him? True, I think what he meant to tell me before we were interrupted was that he no longer holds such a grudge against me, but that does not change what has happened or mean that it is all in the past. Then again, it has been such a long time since I have had the companionship he __offered to me today, and it feels strangely familiar to have another presence around the manor besides my own and the servants. Am I just being foolish? My heart, my instinct has deceived me so many times that I can never be sure anymore. _

_Please, Renji, do not make me wrong again..._

Byakuya released a sigh as he walked into his room and closed the door, his mind still racing with thoughts, not realizing that in the other room his assistant was thinking very similar things, worried that he'd made a mistake by letting the noble so close and questioning his own actions.

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><p>Forty minutes later Renji walked out of the private bathroom attached to his bedroom wrapped in a soft, fresh white velour robe, the used fluffy bath towel slung over his shoulder and his long crimson hair, now loose from the usual ponytail, hanging down his back and still wet from his shower. The room itself doubled as both a guest bedroom and an office with the bed on one side of the room with a small nightstand and lamp beside it and one larger dresser with a mirror, and a computer on a desk, chair and bookshelf on the other half. A few pieces of artwork hung on the light beige walls, mostly painted scenes of gardens like the one in the backyard, along with more pictures of Byakuya and Hisana. Several awards that Byakuya had won sat on the computer desk and on the bookshelf, the most prestigious one called The Senbonzakura Philanthropist Award for all of time and efforts to help the poor citizens of Rukongai sat on the very top. He'd been the youngest recipient of the honor since the Senbonzakura Foundation started giving the award. It was set in a decorative silver frame embossed with pink crystal sakura petals.<p>

_He must have a thing for cherry blossoms_, Renji mused with a slight smirk, then went about finding a laundry basket to put his clothes and the used towel in to be washed. When he couldn't find any he went out into the hall to ask one of the servants where he should put his laundry, but seeing no one he finally padded his way across the hall to Byakuya's room, hoping that he'd still be awake. The door was cracked just slightly, but the light was off. He frowned a bit at the odd noises that emitted from the room, then froze just outside the door, his garnet eyes widening at what he saw.

Lying on the king-sized done up with deep brown and soft pink sheets and pillows was a very beautiful and very naked Byakuya Kuchiki, his perfect silken midnight hair fanned out around his face like a black halo, his flawless porcelain skin glowing in the soft moonlight streaming through the window, his thin but sculpted body spread out on top of the comforter. One elegant hand was between his creamy thighs, pumping his ruddy, prominent erection, the long, delicate fingers of his other hand plucking and twisting a dusky rose colored nipple. The CEO's normally stoic, calm face was clouded over in lust, his gray eyes darkened and heavy lidded and his thin, pale lips parted to produce the most beautiful, soft noises of pleasure the redhead had ever heard. Renji stared in disbelief, trying to convince himself the sight in front of him was real. He couldn't make himself move or speak, his eyes glued on his ethereally gorgeous superior.

_This isn't right, I shouldn't be standing here and watching this, he'd kill me for spying on him. But God, he is so fucking beautiful, I've never seen anyone so pretty in all my life... Fuck, how I wish it was my hands touching him right now, my lips kissing his pretty mouth... I wonder how it would feel to be inside him, thrusting into that oh-so-perfect body, he's probably so tight and hot, I would come in just minutes... Shit, I'm hard now! Dammit! _Nervously licking his lips, Renji glanced up and down the hall to make sure no one was around, then after seeing no one allowed himself to open his robe so it hung loosely on his body, turning his eyes back to his boss.

Those pretty smoky eyes were closed now as Byakuya moaned and whimpered, squirming and writhing on the bed as his delicate hand sped up its ministrations on his large, swollen cock, drawing out stream after stream of pre-come. The nipple he tugged and pinched between his fingers was red and almost surely painfully hard as he tormented it relentlessly, arching up into the delicious pain. Finally he let the hand drop, running over his stomach and drifting along the inside of one thigh.

_Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck... Is he gonna do what I think he's about to do? Please, let that be what he's doing! Oh God... _Renji's mind spun deliriously, one hand now inside his underwear, stroking his cock that was beginning to ach with the friction against the soft cotton briefs. He allowed himself to lean against the wall slightly, watching the CEO intently.

Byakuya's hand had stopped pumping his cock, just holding it now while he ran the other hand over the leaking head, scooping up some of the fluid as well as what had dribbled onto his stomach and thighs, slicking up his fingers. Then he cupped his balls and let the wet hand slide back down, bending his knees to give Renji a perfect view of his lovely ass and tight, puckered hole. He ran his come-coated fingers over his blushing pink entrance, releasing another erotic moan as the little pucker twitched under his touch.

_Oh fuck, yes! _Renji bit his lip not to moan the words aloud, his hand on his cock speeding up though he still forced himself to go slowly, reaching in with the other hand to play with a nipple.

Byakuya relaxed, spreading his legs a little wider as his fingers trailed back and forth over his entrance, teasing himself until he whined in anticipation, finally giving himself over to carnal desire and pushed the first fingertip inside, a shudder running through him as he released a wanton moan. As he pushed the finger in deeper and began to move it slowly, he resumed stroking his painfully hard cock.

The redhead tasted copper on his tongue and realized he'd bitten his lip so hard trying not to let out his own sounds of pleasure that his teeth drew blood. Licking it away he braced himself more against the wall, panting silently as he pumped his cock as he watched the noble fucking himself on his fingers and stroking himself.

Byakuya slowly added a second finger, stretching and opening himself while he dug his other thumb into the weeping slit of his cock, drawing out more fluid that dribbled over the long, thick shaft over his balls, soaking the nest of thick raven curls at the base. His brows were drawn together in pleasure as he moaned and panted unintelligible murmurings of pleasure and ecstasy. As his fingers worked inside himself he played with the soft orbs beneath his cock, squeezing them gently and stroking them before going back to pumping his shaft, each movement of his hand and matching thrust of his slim hips bringing him – and Renji – to orgasm.

"Shit," Renji groaned under his breath, not loud enough to be heard, mimicking Byakuya's movements as he traced a fingernail down the throbbing underside vein before sliding back up and tugging at the head, at the same time pinching and twisting a dark biege nub. _You're going to be the death of me yet, Byakuya!_

The midnight haired CEO soon added a third finger into his beautifully swollen, puckered entrance, his slick fingers slipping in and out easily as he rocked his hips down onto them with increasing fervor, beads of sweat glistening on his pale, slender, moonlit body. Renji shivered as he imagined thrusting into that tight heat, moving inside Byakuya's silky smooth walls, claiming that gorgeous body and making his boss scream out his name with reckless abandon. Byakuya started riding his fingers and stroking himself roughly, looking and sounding as if he was close to release, but then suddenly he stopped, panting and trembling on the large bed, while Renji shoved his fist into his mouth not to cry out in frustration. He was so close, _so fucking close_, Byakuya had pushed him to the verge of madness and if he didn't get his release he thought he would go out of his mind.

Byakuya simply laid there for several agonizing (for his sexually-frustrated assistant, that is) moments, the cadence of his heart gradually slowing as his breathing normalized although his cock stayed ramrod hard, flat against his stomach and leaking fluid into his bellybutton. Renji marveled at the self-control his superior possessed, he didn't know if he'd have the will to stop when he was as close as Byakuya was to coming, even now Renji's cock twitched uncomfortably in his hand, aching from being denied relief. He fought not to let out some pathetic noise as he cupped and rubbed his length to soothe away the ache.

_I should not be doing such things. It is wrong, deviant, undignified, repulsive. A man like me should not allow himself to surrender to the dirty, lustful desires of the flesh like a common wanton tramp. To give in to such human desires is weak and deplorable, _such was the war of thoughts raging in Byakuya's mind each time he went and hid to satisfy the need for pleasure that he so carefully tucked away in his every day life. Born and raised in an aristocratic family, he was taught from a very early age that a man of his status and background must act in a manner befitting of a nobleman, with dignity and poise, and that it was improper for him to indulge himself in the activities in which the unwashed commonwealth partook. That, of course, included sex. Of course he was not a virgin having been married for five years and dating a few others prior to his marriage, but since the death of his wife he'd mostly put those kinds of desires on the back burner in favor of integrating Rukia into his family and furthering his career.

He didn't think his relatives were naive enough to believe their heir was completely asexual now that he was no longer married, but he still tried to shield their prying eyes from his sex life. He was also sure that none of them were aware of his bisexuality or that on several occasions, Hisana allowed Byakuya to bring a male companion into their marriage bed, allowing him to satiate the need inside him that she could not fulfill. Before he was married he'd never really masturbated before having been told all his life that such an act was repulsive and sinful, and he didn't really need it with his wife since Hisana never denied him a single whim, but now it was his only means of release in both a literal and metaphorical sense, the one moment in his life he could let down his guard and give himself over to bare instinct and pleasure, and despite the shame he felt during those times he savored every moment. Which is why he needed to take his time now. Despite how long he drew out his private sessions, all too soon it would be over and he'd be forced back into his scheduled, restricted, confined life of duty.

Byakuya reached one hand down under the bed, searching around for something before finding it and bringing it up beside him. Renji's mouth dropped to the floor yet again, unable to believe what he was seeing. Byakuya Kuchiki owned a _dildo_? The silicone phallic-shaped toy in the CEO's hand was long, thick and black with ridges all the way down and a flared base, looking heavy in the raven-haired man's elegant, pale hand. He set it down long enough to fish a bottle of lube from the drawer in his nightstand, then went about generously lubing up his toy, unaware of the spying garnet eyes of the man hidden in the shadows outside his room.

Once he was satisfied with the amount of lubrication coating the dildo, he lowered it to his entrance and pressed the slick, round tip against his prepared hole, shuddering softly at the coolness of the silicone against heated skin. Then with a deep breath he slowly pushed the dildo into his tight passageway, letting out a soft feverish cry of ecstasy, panting heavily as he trembled at the feeling of fullness as his muscles were stretched to their furthest capacity. After what seemed to Renji like forever of Byakuya letting himself adjust to the object now embedded deep inside him as he tried to steady his ragged breathing, his fingers reached down and flipped a hidden switch that Renji hadn't noticed before on the bottom of the dildo, the black toy buzzing to life as it began lightly vibrating and moving inside the beautiful aristocrat.

Renji's mind went blank as the man on the bed let out a louder moan of pleasure, his head falling back on the pillow as he bucked and writhed against the toy's movements while the toy thrust in and out of him, vibrating as it hit the center of pleasure within him and sent delicious jolts through his entire body. The redhead's own hand resumed stroking himself almost on his own accord, struggling to catch up to Byakuya who had clearly abandoned the notion of taking his time and was now fucking himself on the toy with reckless abandon, his head tossing back and forth as beautiful cries, moans, whimpers and sobs erupted from him, beginning to stroke himself again at the same time, impaling himself desperately on the dildo.

Only a few moments later Byakuya turned and buried his face into the pillows with a helpless scream of completion as the head of the dildo struck his prostate just right, his body arching and convulsing violently as he came all over himself, his cock pulsing as strand after strand of milky white come exploded from him. In all of his delirious cries and moans, only one discernible word spilled from his lips.

"_Renji_!"

Renji gave one last hard tug of his hand on his cock, his eyes flying open as he gasped with the intense shocks of pleasure that jolted through his body with every throb of his cock that spilled milky white heat onto his hand and stained his underwear. He leaned heavily against the wall, pressing his heated face against the cool panted drywall, his mind spinning in the aftermath of his release. _Fuck! Did he really just say what I think he said? _

He watched, stunned as the raven-haired man lie panting and trembling in the afterglow of his own orgasm, then slowly got out of bed and went into his private bathroom to clean himself up, shutting the door behind him. Renji took a few more moments to compose himself, still disoriented and confused by the whole event, then straightened and hurried back to his own room.

"Shit," he whispered to himself once he was in the safety of the guest bedroom. "Could Mr. Kuchiki feel like that about _me_? I never thought it was possible, after all, he's a wealthy and powerful man from the most prominent, well-to-do family in the city, I'm just a lowly assistant. Why in the hell would he want me? And furthermore, what the fuck was I doing spying on him like that and _getting off_ from it, no less? I've never been attracted to a man before, but fuck, he turned me on more than any woman ever has, and the whole time all I thought about was fucking him... And when he called my name like that, God, I've never come so hard in all my life! What the hell is wrong with me?"

Renji changed his soiled clothes and crawled into bed, staring up at the ceiling unable to sleep with all the thoughts racing in his mind.

_Byakuya... Am I falling in love with you?_


	4. Ginpaku Kazahana no Uzuginu

**Ginpaku Kazahana no Uzuginu **

**A/N: **Well, here is part one of the real smut and the true beginning of the love story between Byakuya and Renji. Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and put this story on your alerts, it means so much to me! A special thanks goes to the amazing ichibanseiken for all your help and advice on how to improve this story and helping me decide how to edit it. Thanks to ALL of you who have reviewed it as well! I promise the next part won't take me such a long time, I know we're all eager to get to the real sex (okay, maybe just me :P ). Anyway, thank you again and love to you all!

**Reference**: _Italics_ is thoughts or flashbacks, **bold** is emphasis in thoughts, and _**bold italics**_ are thoughts within flashbacks.

**Warnings: **mild BDSM themes, light bondage, oral.

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><p>The blood curdling scream from Byakuya's room sliced through the silent, dark calm of the sleeping Kuchiki mansion around three o' clock in the morning. Renji jolted awake, nearly falling onto the floor as he shot up abruptly, untwisting himself from the blankets and scrambling out of bed.<p>

_Aizen_, _oh shit, the bastard came back to finish the job! _He thought frantically, digging in his slacks for the Zabimaru switchblade he carried around with him, a habit from living in the roughest neighborhood of Rukongai. The jagged-toothed blade sprung up as he pressed the switch before dashing across the hall to Byakuya's room, flinging open the door so hard that it banged against the wall loudly as he flipped on the light, frantically searching the room for any sign of intruders, though no one was there.

Byakuya sat up in bed, clutching the blankets tightly in his fists as he trembled and panted raggedly, his raven hair stuck to his sweaty face. His usually solemn features twisted into an unrecognizable expression of sheer horror and agony, lovely gray eyes clouded over, faraway and unseeing as if he were dreaming while awake. His mouth opened in another hard, gut-wrenching scream.

"Rukia! Rukia, no!" He shouted desperately, reaching his arms out for his invisible sister, then cried out as he doubled over and clutched at his abdomen, sobbing brokenly.

"Byakuya," Renji said in a calming tone, slipping the now retracted knife back into the pocket of his robe before making his way over to the bed and sitting down on the edge. "Byakuya, hey, it's okay, everything is all right now. I'm here, Sosuke and Ichimaru are gone and Rukia is safe now, she's staying over at Ichigo's tonight, remember? You were just having a dream..." Renji continued to try and soothe his boss, tentatively reaching over to put a hand on his arm.

Byakuya gasped and pulled away sharply, but then slowly raised his head to look at the man beside him, his thick midnight hair falling in front of his pale face, blinking several times. "R-Renji..." He said softly, relief washing over his face as his mind was finally able to distinguish reality from the waking delusions. "Renji, I..."

"Mr. Kuchiki, goodness! I heard you scream and I came as fast as I could," Kaito appeared at the door, looking shaken. "Are you all right, sir?"

"Yes..." Byakuya whispered meekly, taking a few deep breaths although he still looked somewhat dazed.

"Pardon me, sir, I didn't hear you," Kaito said, taking a step into the room.

"He's all right," Renji told the young man, squeezing Byakuya's arm gently when the other man gave him a grateful look. "Thanks, Kaito, but everything is okay. Don't worry, I promise I'll take good care of him. Go on back to bed."

"A – Are you sure, Mr. Abarai?" The youth asked with a doubtful expression.

"Yeah, I've got him, we'll be okay now. I'll come and get you if we need anything else, though," Renji assured him. From the short time he'd spent at the Kuchiki manor it was apparent to Renji that Byakuya treated his staff well and they were all extremely fond of him.

"Well, all right then," Kaito finally agreed, though he still looked a bit unsure as he gave a light bow. "Thank you, Mr. Abarai."

"The name's Renji, kid, and you're welcome," Renji told him with a kind smile. "Go and try to get some rest, we'll see you in the morning."

The young man smiled back with a nod before turning back down the hall toward his room. Renji listened as his footsteps retreated and grew faint, then heard a door shut as he looked back at Byakuya who seemed to be slowly recovering, his eyes becoming a bit clearer and brighter, though still unbearably sad and troubled.

"Sit tight a minute, okay? I'm just going downstairs to get you some water, so don't go anywhere before I get back," Renji said as he released Byakuya's arm and got up from the bed. "Do you need anything else while I'm down there?"

Byakuya shook his head, pulling his knees up to his chest as he wrapped the blankets tighter around himself, staring forlornly out the window that led to his private balcony at the bright, full moon. Renji frowned, his teeth worrying at his bottom lip as he made his way downstairs to the kitchen, grabbing a glass and filling it with water, taking a few deep breaths as he did, trying to calm the adrenaline coursing through his veins from being startled awake. He looked out the kitchen window into the moonlit garden, the sound of Byakuya's scream echoing in his mind and seeing those wide, terrified smoky gray eyes staring at him, _through _him, as if he was the monster in his dreams.

"_Rukia, I don't believe you've been introduced to my little friend. His name is Shinso," Gin Ichimaru, the head CEO of _Ichimaru & Kira International _said in his mocking, sing-songy tone with a plastered-on fox grin, silver hair gleaming unnaturally under the florescent overhead lights of _ The Sokyoku Hill County Executioner's Building. _His slitted crimson snake eyes trained on Byakuya's sister as she stood, wide-eyed and paralyzed with fear as he displayed the .35 magnum revolver clutched in one slender hand, his sly grin widening menacingly. "Shoot for the kill," he whispered into the barrel of the sleek black handgun before kissing the shiny, cold metal and training it on the stunned periwinkle-eyed woman._

"_Rukia! Rukia, no!"_

_Byakuya couldn't remember the exact moment his feet set him into motion, didn't recall any conscious thought in his mind as he rushed through the crowd of spectators that had come to watch Rukia's death sentence, most of them his colleagues, suddenly overcome with desperation. The following events came in broken fragments that flashed in front of him like the explosion of Ichimaru's gun; landing crouched down beside her and hugging her small body tightly against his chest, shielding her in his arms. Gin's condescending laugh as he squeezed the trigger. The sickening crack of the gunshot and Rukia's scream as pain exploded in Byakuya's chest once, then twice, the second hitting a bit further down near his abdomen. Crimson blooming on the front of his shirt, staining the silken fabric. Blood all over him, gushing from his wounds in horrifying amounts. So much blood._

_Cold. He was so cold, even with all of the heat pouring from his body onto his skin and clothes. But he could not, would not let go of Rukia. He clung to her small body like an anchor as his vision swam and became gray around the edges, then felt himself falling, only vaguely aware of the trail of blood seeping from his mouth and running down his chin._

"_Brother! No, brother!" _

_He heard Rukia screaming, felt her tears on his neck, but was unable to command himself to speak or move to reassure her as he felt himself spinning away. All he could do was hope that his body was still holding onto her, protecting her if Sosuke or Gin should come back, one last thought passing through his mind before the blessed, calm darkness pulled him under. _

_**Rukia... I am so sorry... Please, forgive me...**_

Renji came back into the room a few minutes later, about to say he was back with the water, but the redhead stopped in the doorway, the words dying on his lips when he saw the powerful CEO curled up on his side, silvery tears making trails down his pale cheeks as he stared listlessly out at the night sky. In all his years working for the man, Renji had never seen his boss show any type of emotion save for the rare ghosts of smiles or more frequently quiet sighs of disapproval or frustration, but shedding tears? Before that moment he didn't even realize his superior was _capable _of crying. He suddenly looked so young and fragile wearing nothing but a black robe without any signs of his status or wealth, too small in the large bed, completely lost and broken. It caused something inside Renji's chest to break open and bleed, the heaviness of the other man's sadness hitting the redhead like a ton of bricks, making it suddenly harder to breath and move. He just wanted to make the young Kuchiki heir's innumerable, unbearable sorrows leave him, to lift those burdens off his shoulders and bring light back into those beautiful dark eyes.

"Um, hey," the assistant said quietly, finding his own voice slightly choked.

Byakuya startled, his hands instinctively flying up to quickly brush away the wetness on his cheeks while he straightened up. "Oh," he said with a quiet sniffle, looking at the glass of water in Renji's hand. "Th – Thank you."

Renji gave him a brave smile and came back over to the bed, taking his place at the edge before handing the glass over to Byakuya. He watched as the other man took several long sips, his hands still trembling as he tried to calm himself.

"I – I am sorry... for being so much trouble for you," Byakuya said before Renji had a chance to speak. "I know how I must appear to you, what you are probably thinking of me. You think me weak and that I am going mad, do you not?"

"W – What?" Renji looked horrified. "God, no, of course not! Look, I know you pride yourself on being really strong and everything, and you are but... You've been through something really traumatic just like the rest of us, so it's no wonder that you're having some trouble lately. Don't worry about it, and please don't assume I'm going to think badly of you for it because I won't. I just... wish there was more I could do to help."

"You have done all you can do," Byakuya told him as he met his eyes, then looked down again, his fingers skimming over the smooth rim of the tall glass. "The nightmares – Dr. Isane used the term nocturnal flashbacks – have been much worse lately as I begin to regain the memories from when I was shot. At first I didn't understand where the amnesia came from since I was shot in the chest, not my head, but the doctor also explained to me that it is common to have trouble remembering such an event. I suppose it is the body's way of self-preservation when something that is as you said, very traumatic occurs. The second reason is that when I collapsed I apparently hit my head rather hard," he retold what the doctors had explained to him, unsure of why he was saying it all to Renji of all people, but it felt good to talk.

Renji nodded, but suspected there was more the other man wanted to say and so didn't interrupt or make a move to leave.

Byakuya said nothing for a long time, just staring down into the glass resting on his knee, a storm of emotions in his cloudy sky eyes. When he finally spoke, his voice was so quiet and small that Renji almost couldn't hear him. "I thought I could do it... I thought I could get through watching Rukia's execution and remain unaffected and distanced from the emotions. I am nothing if not a man of the law, and I believed that, if she was truly guilty, then it was fair retribution for such crimes against our society. Granted, I did not know then what I do now, and if I had known the truth back then I would have viewed her sentence differently. But none the less, I went that day prepared to watch her die and walk away from the situation, resolved not to allow my heart to get in the way of my sense of morality and justice. But then, when the Kurosaki boy charged into the executioner's building, knocked the needle from the physician's hand and released her from the binds on the chair, then when Aizen came forward and revealed the truth and I saw Gin raise his gun to her... Suddenly, all I could hear was my wife's voice, 'Bya, my darling Bya, I beg of you to find my little sister... Please, love and protect her as I was unable to do'...

I could not allow myself to break the last vow I made to my beloved wife, the woman that had given me so much love and never denied me anything, even when that meant jeopardizing her own health. I had already failed her when I was unable to find the cure she needed when she became ill and then all but abandoned her sister when Rukia was given the death sentence... And if I was to meet her again that day Gin's bullets pierced through my chest, then at least I would be able to look in her eyes and tell her I did all I could do right down to my last breath to preserve her last wish. I – I did not want her to be ashamed of me... I loved her, so much, she was my life, my heart... A – And despite the bad judgments I've made, I also love Rukia... I know you do not believe me, but I do, Renji, I _do _love her... And I... I cannot not bear to lose them both!" The young Kuchiki heir cried, his words coming out more frantically and shrilly as he buried his face in his hands and began to sob, his thin shoulders trembling.

Renji stared at Byakuya, swallowing around the lump in his throat and trying to force back his own tears. _God, he's in so much pain and nobody knows, he doesn't have anyone who really understands the level of agony and despair he's experienced in his life. This is probably the first time since his wife died that he's let somebody this close. I don't know why he's chosen me, God knows I don't really deserve it after how I betrayed him and turned on him like that, but now I just... Fuck, I want so badly to make things better for him, I just want to take away all the anguish inside him... Please, please, don't push me away when I try, Byakuya... _He chewed his lip for a moment, hesitating, then threw caution to the wind and shifted onto the other side of the headboard next to his boss, pulling the smaller man against his warm chest, lightly running a large, rough hand up and down his slender, trembling back.

"Oh, Byakuya," he whispered into his ear, tightening his arms gently around the younger man. "It's okay, I know you love Rukia, I know that and so does she. You just didn't know what to do, none of us did, and you made the best decision you could. And look, in the end you did the right thing, you kept your promise to your wife and you saved Rukia even though doing it could have killed you. You didn't fail, not at all," he tried to assure him, his heart breaking for the other when he didn't answer, but simply burrowed deeper into the larger man's arms and continued to weep heavily.

Renji held Byakuya close as he sobbed quietly for a long time after both had stopped speaking, just rocking him gently, rubbing his back and occasionally stroking his raven locks. Eventually Byakuya quieted, though he stayed curled in Renji's arms, turning his tearstained face up to look at the redhead.

"Please, do not leave me," he whispered, settling himself as close to the older man's warmth as he could.

"I'm not goin' anywhere," the redhead promised, twirling a strand of midnight silk around his finger and stroking it with his thumb.

Byakuya sighed quietly, gazing up into Renji's eyes. "I am sorry for what I said to you the day we argued over the death sentence, when I said that..." he looked away in shame, his voice falling quiet. "That you are nothing but common street trash. I did not mean..."

"It's okay," Renji cut him off. "I know. And I'm sorry for calling you a stuck up, heartless noble bastard, that was out of line."

"Everything you said about me was completely deserved," the noble said miserably, his gaze trailing back to the window, up at the moon. "I _am _a heartless, stuck up noble bastard, and you are much better of a man than I could ever dream to be."

"Don't say that," Renji scolded gently, touching Byakuya's cheek softly to make him look back at him, gazing into his eyes when he did. "You're obviously not heartless nor stuck up, and neither of us is better than the other. We both said and did things we shouldn't have, but if you can forgive me, then I can forgive you."

Byakuya smiled softly, making Renji feel dizzy and lightheaded with the beauty of it. "I forgive you, Renji."

Renji smiled brightly in return, brushing the hair away from the other's gray eyes, then took in a breath softly as Byakuya lifted his fingers to the lightly tanned flesh of Renji's throat, tracing softly over the black, jagged tattoos on his neck, making their way down toward his shoulders. "W – What...?"

The Kuchiki heir's eyes followed his fingers, tracing over the fascinating, confusing, wild black lines down the length of his assistant's throat. "Beautiful," he murmured, letting his fingers slip down once they reached his shoulders, now following the designs on his chest peeking out of his robe.

Renji shivered at the feeling of those velvety soft digits ghosting over his skin, forcing back a hungry moan, the touches going straight to his groin and heating up his face. "Um..." he swallowed thickly with a quiet, nervous chuckle. "Th – Thanks..."

"There are so many of them," Byakuya said in a reverent, amazed tone, as if he'd never seen anyone with a tattoo before. "When did you start?"

"When I was seventeen, right after Rukia and I joined the academy," he answered, desperately trying to focus on talking instead of those petal-like hands on him making the heated tightness in his nether regions intensify as they moved to his face, exploring the designs on his forehead. _Since when did my head become an erogenous zone? _"It was kind of a present to myself, I'd always wanted a tattoo and I once saw this guy who had these crazy designs on his forehead, so that's where I started. I thought it made me look tougher and I guess after that I got kind of addicted to it, and over the years I just kept adding more and more wherever there were blank spots. Pretty much all that's left to do is my feet."

"What are you going to do with them?"

"I don't really know yet, but I'm thinking about it. Maybe..." he smiled a bit. "Maybe a design that resembles cherry blossoms."

Byakuya looked back into the garnet eyes, surprise coming over his face, then his expression softened as his hands ghosted over Renji's face, running his thumbs along his strong jawline and over his cheeks. Without giving himself another moment to second-guess himself, he shifted in Renji's arms to sit up a bit, then leaned up and pressed his lips against the redhead's, softly at first before gradually deepening the kisses, his lips moving over Renji's stunned mouth. _Oh, yes_...

The redhead went stiff against the smaller man, his mind spiraling into a numb tailspin of thoughts, unable to think, or move, or really even breathe especially with the way Byakuya was ravaging his mouth hungrily. _Fuck! This isn't right, we can't be doing this right now, I can't. He's in a bad place right now, too vulnerable, and I can't be taking advantage of him. He probably doesn't even know what he's doing right now, or he's acting on impulse and will regret it in the morning... He'll hate me if I let this continue... But shit, I've never been kissed this way before! His lips are so soft, and God, those fingers feel as good in my hair as I thought they would... Damn... _In spite of his conflicting thoughts Renji never the less found himself wrapping his arms more tightly around the smaller man, pressing their bodies together as he responded to the kisses, moaning softly as Byakuya's fingers slid back and tightened in his long, thick hair.

Byakuya released his own soft but decidedly wanton moan, a sound the redhead instantly fell in love with and decided he wanted to hear a lot more of them, so he moved to nibble softly on the pale, soft bottom lip, running his tongue over the seam in askance. The CEO's lips parted eagerly, a pink tongue slipping out through pearly teeth and capturing the exploring wet muscle that probed his lips hungrily, inviting it into the sweet, moist cavern of his mouth. They remained locked in their passionate kiss, biting and sucking each others' lips as their tongues wrestled each other for domination, exploring, seeking, curling around each other until Renji broke away, flushed and gasping for breath, when he felt the tie around his waist tugged and the rush of cool air on his skin as the material was moved away.

"B – Byakuya, wait, just wait a minute..." Renji said, trying to catch his breath as he captured Byakuya's small hands in his larger, rougher ones before they could touch the bare skin of his chest.

"What is it, Renji?" Byakuya panted softly, raising heavy-lidded eyes from the muscled, tattooed body of his assistant back to his face. He lifted the rough, calloused fingers that clutched his wrists, ghosting his lips over the warm pads. "Do you not like being touched there?"

"No, I – I mean yes I do, that's not why I wanted to stop, but listen... Are you sure about this, _really _sure? I know you're in a really tough spot right now, and your mind is struggling to make sense of it all, so it makes perfect sense that you'd want to find comfort in someone close to you but..."

"You think I merely want to use you to forget about my troubles and satisfy a temporary need?" Byakuya asked incredulously, the betrayal evident in his voice and eyes. He let go of Renji's hands and pulled away, sitting on the edge of the bed with his back to the redhead. _I knew you would prove me wrong._

The red-haired assistant frowned as he got up, moving around to the other side of the bed and kneeling in front of his boss, who looked away stubbornly until Renji cupped his chin gently and turned his head. "We're not in the office anymore, so don't just try to dismiss me like that, you didn't let me finish what I was going to say. It's taken a long time for me to realize that I want you, probably have since the first day I saw you even though I was too stubborn and pig-headed to figure it out back then. _I'm _sure this is what I want, but I need _you _to be as sure as I am," he said softly, stroking his fingers down the fall of raven locks that fell over one slim shoulder. "You've had so many people that have hurt you, so many things have happened in your life to cause you pain, and I... I don't wanna be another one."

"If I was unsure about what I am doing, you would not be here in the first place," the younger CEO answered, slowly taking Renji's hands again. _And nothing could hurt more than your rejection now..._

Renji grinned, leaning up on his knees and bringing his face close enough to the others' that both could feel each others' warm breath. "That's all I needed to hear," he murmured, then cupped Byakuya's face and claimed his lips again while laying him back on the bed, crawling on top of him. _I won't leave you if you promise not to leave me._

Byakuya relaxed beneath the redhead, tilting his head back to expose his long, pale throat as Renji moved his kisses down, worshiping the skin with sharp nips of teeth and long, flat strokes of his wet, hot tongue, drinking in the delicious noises of pleasure from the other man. He'd pulled the tie around Byakuya's waist and thrown the silky garment on the floor, taking a moment to admire the lean but muscular, defined body of the man beneath him, the lowered his head intent on a dusky rose-colored nipple when suddenly he found himself flipped onto his back, staring up at a smirking, beautiful aristocrat. In one elegant hand was his pale green scarf that had been washed and lain neatly folded back on his dresser for the next day.

"This is called a ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu, it is a family heirloom like the kenseikan I wear in my hair, on his eighteenth birthday the man who is to be the head of the Kuchiki family is given them as a sign of his new status. The scarf itself has been handed down from Kuchiki heir to Kuchiki heir for over one-hundred-fifty years, made and continually restored by our personal tailors the Kuroemon family, right now headed by the master weaver Tsujishiro. It is made from the finest windflower light silk and is worth enough yen to buy ten mansions in this neighborhood," he explained, running his fingers along the scarf, examining it carefully as he spoke. "So, we shall need to be careful with it."

Renji opened his mouth to ask what he meant, but then cut himself off with a sharp gasp when Byakuya pinned his arms over his head and proceeded to bind his wrists with one end of the scarf, then tied the other end around the bedpost. The redhead groaned at the feeling of the soft, cool material sliding over his secretly oversensitive wrists, tugging gently to test his bonds. Byakuya watched, looking satisfied with his bondage work, then ran his cool hands down Renji's toned, muscular torso, once again taking a moment to admire his tattoos before starting to follow them with his mouth, biting softly and licking the jagged black lines all the way down to the broad chest where he paused to suck a dark caramel nipple between his lips, tracing around it with his tongue and nipping at the hardening nub, relishing in the deep moans of delight as Renji arched up toward him.

Byakuya worried at the stiff nub until it was hard between his teeth, then moved to the other to give it the same treatment, languidly teasing it to a hard pebble. He glanced upward before he moved on, meeting the redhead's glazed over, darkened garnet eyes with his own lustful steel-colored ones, then continued down black and tan skin to the dip of his navel, pushing his tongue inside and sucking deeply at the skin.

"Fuck, Byakuya!" Renji moaned deliriously, his hips lifting off the bed at the sensations that went straight to his now hard, leaking cock, aching inside the confines of his underwear. "Please..."

"'Please' what, Renji?" Byakuya asked in a lightly teasing tone, lifting his head again to look at his assistant.

Renji moaned again, swallowing thickly while trying to catch his panted breath. "Please, touch me..."

"Hmm," Byakuya mused, his fingertips ghosting down Renji's chest and stomach, ever-so-lightly scratching with his blunt nails. "I believe I _am _touching you."

"No," Renji whined, his head lolling from side to side while pulling at the scarf around his wrists, grunting when the material didn't give any room for movement. Instead he lifted his hips once again, putting the primary source of his discomfort eye-level with his boss. "I mean _touch me_, please... It aches..."

"Ah, I see," Byakuya acknowledged in a coyly passive tone. "Well then, I certainly do not wish you to be in any discomfort, so let me see what I can do to remedy this..." he moved down over Renji's stomach, tasting more black tattoos until he reached the ones on the prominent hipbones of his assistant, then delicately, agonizingly slowly, pushed down the redhead's black and red striped underwear, freeing his proud, ruddy length. Renji couldn't help a smug grin when the man hovering over him took in a pleased breath of surprise, staring in wonder at his engorged member.

Enchanted by the sight of the gorgeous man he now held at his mercy, Byakuya wrapped his lithe fingers around the heavy, thick length, beginning to pump slowly, gently twisting and squeezing when he got to the head, drawing out more pearly white beads of pre-come that dribbled slowly over Renji's cock and wet the nest of thick, dried-blood colored curls at the base. Unable to stop himself, he slowly lowered his head, the ends of his raven locks tickling the strong, muscled tanned thighs of the other man, he brought his lips to the heated, swollen head of his length, reaching out with his tongue to lap away the droplets of fluid leaking furiously from the slit. Letting his steely gray eyes flutter closed, he listened for the grunts and moans and cries of encouragement, wrapping his lips around the thickened heat of Renji's erection and feeling the gentle throb and twitch of mounting ecstasy when he began to sink down, suddenly lamenting the fact that he'd tied Renji up so he couldn't feel those rough, warm hands in his hair.

Renji watched the pretty mouth of his superior devoured him slowly, moving up and down while sucking heavily, sending intense shocks of pure bliss through his body, forcing him to struggle to keep his eyes from sliding closed even as he cried out the noble's name. Byakuya dipped his head and hummed, causing Renji to nearly come off the bed as well as almost choking his boss. He backed off a bit, suckling at the reddened tip, and Renji gently rubbed his knee against the curve of his back as means of apology.

"Shit, fuck Byakuya, I – I'm sorry, God, that just felt really nice and I – Did I hurt you?" Renji asked, panic seizing over him and temporarily dulling the fire of his passion. _Dammit, I knew I was going to fuck up somehow..._

Byakuya pulled back to place a few soft kisses along Renji's inner thigh. "I am all right, Renji," he reassured, then pressed his fingers against Renji's thin, downward-curved lips. "Here, quiet yourself and make use of that beautiful mouth."

_Beautiful...? _Renji mused in wonder, sucking the digits into his mouth slowly, dragging his teeth across the soft pads and bobbing his head while his tongue worked to wet each one thoroughly while Byakuya went back to suckling his cock. Renji groaned happily at the feeling of Byakuya's hot, wet mouth engulfed him again, moving along his shaft and reaching out with his soft tongue to run across the smooth orbs beneath. His hand began to move in time with his head's movements, the combination of sucking, gentle teeth and tongue shoving the redhead to the brink of ecstasy, all while his own mouth mirrored Byakuya's actions on his fingers until the digits were dripping with saliva.

A moment later Renji heard a whimper escape his own lips at the loss of contact when Byakuya withdrew his fingers, then gasped as he lowered them, brushing against the vulnerable skin of his assistant's inner thigh, finally rubbing against his puckered entrance.

Byakuya paused once again to look up at his flushed, beautifully aroused assistant, rubbing his finger in slow circles lightly around the tight ring of muscles. "If you are unsure or you think it is too soon, all you have to do is say and I will stop right now," he told the other man firmly but gently, his soft baritone holding more warmth than Renji had ever heard from his boss. "You make the choice. All you have to do is say."

The redhead gulped thickly, searching the smoky gray eyes that looked upon him with honesty and vulnerability, chewing his lip. _I don't know, this __**has **__all happened so fast. And I haven't given myself to anyone since... No, stop it, Abarai, don't go there. It's taken you all these years to get past that, so don't go rehashing it now. You're here right now with Byakuya Kuchiki, and he's offering to give you everything now. Give him your decision. _"Um..."

Taking Renji's hesitance as a rejection of his offer, Byakuya softly brushed a few gentle kisses across Renji's stomach before starting to pull away, desperately trying not to show his disappointment. _You are a foolish man, Byakuya Kuchiki, _he scolded himself silently, but kept his voice serene when he spoke again. "It is all right, I understand completely. I am sorry for being so assertive and pushing you too far too quickly. Please forgive me," he said quietly, resting back on his haunches and closing his eyes, the ache of unfulfilled need throbbing in his groin as strongly as his heart.

Renji watched Byakuya move up beside him, reaching to untie the scarf from his wrists, a pang of guilt jolting through him at the dejected expression Byakuya wasn't quite able to hide. He took a slow, deep breath, then wrapped his fingers around the pale wrist to halt the others' movements, meeting the gray eyes that stared at him with confusion and barely contained hopefulness. "W-Wait, Byakuya..."

"Yes?" the raven-haired CEO asked softly.

The crimson-haired older man leaned up as much as he could with his hands bound, letting his mouth brush over his boss' high cheekbone back to his ear, flicking his tongue over the sensitive lobe and nibbling softly, feeling the younger, dark haired man shiver before leaning forward heavily to nuzzle into his shoulder. He released Byakuya's ear gently, rubbing his nose against the dip just behind it and planting a kiss there. When he spoke his voice was so husky and low that Byakuya almost didn't hear the soft plea.

"I want you, _need_ you so badly, Byakuya," he whispered into the shell of his ear. "Please, take me. Make me yours."


	5. Ginpaku Kazahana no Uzuginu Part Two

**A/N: **Finally, it's here! I am so sorry it has taken me so long to get this new chapter out, and I'll try not to let it happen again.

* * *

><p>"Are you absolutely sure?" The younger noble asked, pulling back to be able to meet the other's garnet eyes once again. "Please, do not yield to me out of pity, it will only bring us both pain. I also do not want to be someone in your life who hurts you or makes you feel used, and if you give yourself to me I do not want you to later wish you hadn't."<p>

"I said I'm sure, and I am," Renji smiled in the darkness, meeting the other man's lips for a series of long, deep, sensual kisses before he settled back on the bed and relaxed, silently imploring the younger man to continue.

Byakuya nodded finally and lowered his head for the last time to Renji's erection that leaked heavily and twitched with unfulfilled desire, taking the length back into his mouth and sucking heavily, swirling his tongue around the swollen, nearly purple head. One hand stroked the base of the redhead's cock and teased the tightly drawn up sac below while his other fingers probed at the older man's tight entrance, gently applying pressure and tracing the blushing pucker that quivered and twitched beneath his touches. Renji groaned deeply with a shiver of delighted anticipation, the coil of heat that had originated in the pit of his stomach now burning out of control in his groin. A moment later he yelled out his intense release after Byakuya took him all the way down his throat and hummed, then swallowed repeatedly to drink every last drop of his partner's milky, hot seed down, enjoying the slightly acrid taste and the way Renji's cock pulsed in the walls of his throat. While Renji lie panting and trembling heavily in his post-orgasm bliss, the CEO made sure that his fingers were still slick enough, adding just a bit of lube on top of Renji's saliva, then gently inserted his first finger while his assistant's body was still warm and pliant. He slid the digit all the way in to the knuckle and then stopped, watching Renji closely.

"Does it feel okay?" Byakuya asked softly, spreading little kisses over his sharp jaw and down his tattooed neck.

Renji sucked in a breath sharply through his teeth, releasing it slowly and trying to make his muscles relax despite his body's instinct to resist the intruding object. "Y-Yeah," he finally answered a bit shakily. "S'okay, it feels... good."

Byakuya nodded although he doubted the sincerity of the statement, bringing his lips back down to the redhead's, feeding him gentle, soothing kisses while he prepared him as gently as possible. Renji's breath hitched once again when Byakuya added the second finger, moving them around slowly to stretch out his constricted passageway while trailing his lips down his neck and over his check. Soon Renji found himself relaxing with Byakuya's ministrations, losing himself in the pleasure and letting his hips move with the movements of the fingers inside him, arching his back sharply with a low, ragged cry when they brushed across the bundle of nerves deep inside him. By the time the CEO finished preparing him, with all the teasing to his prostate the redhead found himself completely hard once again despite the intense orgasm he'd had only minutes earlier, his swollen, heated length flush against his stomach and dribbling pre-come into the crevice of his navel.

"Are you ready now?" Byakuya asked once he'd pulled his fingers out, Renji's initial look of hesitance running through his mind. _I want to erase all those doubts and fears that made you so reluctant at first so that we can be together without any more barriers. You can have all of me, but if you are not prepared in body __**and **__heart then I will not proceed._

"Hell yeah, I'm ready now, you're driving me _crazy_, Byakuya, I don't think I could take anymore if I wanted to. Come on," Renji pleaded, instinctively raising his arms to reach out for the other man, unable to stop a little whine at the realization that he was still restrained.

The midnight-haired CEO planted another kiss on Renji's slick, broad shoulder before shifting back and reaching into his nightstand drawer, pulling out the same bottle of lube he used earlier on the dildo. He began slicking up his fingers when Renji suddenly spoke up, making him stop and look up.

"Wait..."

"Yes?" Byakuya asked.

Renji licked his lips, then gave his boss a sly grin. "I wanna do that."

The other man's delicate raven eyebrow arched up questioningly, a barely-there smirk curling his thin, pale lips. "I do not believe you are in the position to assist me right now..."

"Well, I might not have use of my hands at the moment, but I'll bet my mouth would do the trick just as well," the crimson-haired assistant suggested, wriggling his own tattooed eyebrows seductively, that wolfish grin still in place.

He almost had to laugh at the expression of utter surprise that washed over the younger CEO's face and subsequent deep flush of embarrassment that spread across his nose. _Like soft, pink sakura petals_, Renji mused as he looked up at the Byakuya's rosy tainted cheeks, although he decided it would be wise not to say it aloud. He chuckled softly, then frowned when after several minutes Byakuya didn't move or speak, just staring down at the bedspread and chewing his lip bashfully. Since he didn't have use of his upper appendages, he instead used his leg to gently rub against Byakuya's side in a comforting gesture.

"I'm sorry, maybe that was out of line," Renji told him apologetically, wishing he could wrap his arms around the younger man. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, just go ahead however you want."

Byakuya looked up and smiled, adorably shy. "It is not that I do not want you to," he assured him, then crawled up his chest and brought there lips together for a warm kiss. "I will not hurt you?"

"Nah, I think I'll be just fine," the redhead laughed again, nuzzling the noble-blooded man's throat. He laid still as his boss moved above him and put his knees on either side of the bed, taking in the sight of Byakuya's sizable, thick and very hard cock, humming appreciatively as he licked his lips. It was almost comical how his mouth started watering. "Mm, damn, I could definitely get used to _this _view," he purred, then lifted his head from the pillow and followed the pulsing vein from the base of Byakuya's cock up to the swollen head with his tongue.

The noble CEO shivered and moaned, his smoky eyes drifting closed as he tilted his head to the side, resisting the urge to buck his hips into the hot, wet mouth that was now wrapped around the head and suckling him gently, that devilishly skilled tongue dipping into the slit and lapping up the fluid that leaked from it. He gasped when Renji made a hungry sound that sent vibrations down his cock, hard jolts of pleasure wracking his body. The redhead took the length in his mouth deeper, beginning to move as much as he could while sucking and licking every part his tongue could touch, drowning his senses in the twitches and throbs of Byakuya's pleased cock, breathing in the sweet scent of the man's sakura body wash, listening to the lovely, intoxicating soft moans and panted breaths of the man sitting atop him.

"Oh... So good... So, so good... Renji..." Byakuya released the words in a trembling sigh, his hands sinking into the silken locks of freshly-washed crimson, lost in the mnd-blowing sensations of that wickedly skillful, hot mouth on him, rocking his hips into Renji's motions while still being mindful not to push to deep. _**Too **__good, maybe... Better than someone like me deserves, more than I am worthy of receiving... Oh, but even as unworthy as I am, if he is willing to yield such gentle, loving warmth, I am not strong enough to resist..._

"_Such a good little dog, Renji. So good..." _Another voice, the same deep baritone of Byakuya's yet holding none of the warmth of the Kuchiki heir's rose in Renji's mind despite how desperately hard the crimson-haired assistant fought to stifle it. Shutting his garnet eyes tightly, he struggled to stay in the present and not let the waves of memories carry him away from such a perfect moment, not realizing how fast and hard he was moving until Byakuya gasped and tugged on his hair softly, pulling back in warning that he was getting too close. Renji nearly whimpered at the loss of Byakuya's length inside his mouth, but opened his eyes and met those beautiful pools of gray as the midnight haired man lowered himself and reached back into the drawer beside them, pulling out a condom and carefully placing it on himself, then lubricated it and pressed the head of his erection against his prepared entrance. Byakuya kissed Renji deeply, invading his mouth with a warm tongue and teasing the other man's slick muscle to curl around his own, nipping on the redhead's bottom lip as he began pushing inside him.

He didn't mean to make a sound, but the deep, throbbing ache of being taken, feeling his body stretched beyond what was natural or comfortable, and the instinctual need to push out the invading thick, hardened member caused a soft whine of pain to escape Renji's lips as he broke away from Byakuya's mouth, turning his face into the pillow as he trembled and panted. Byakuya instantly paused, frowning in concern, pressing soft kisses down the exposed tattooed throat, running his soft hands down the redhead's heated, sweaty body, trying to offer as much comfort as he could.

"I am sorry," he murmured, his deep voice rumbling against his neck. "I am trying to be careful, but the first time can still be uncomfortable. I should have asked first, please forgive me. Try to breathe deeply and relax as much as possible, I will continue slowly."

_It's not the first time, that's why it hurts so badly. All these damned memories... _Renji wanted to say the words aloud, but if he did he knew Byakuya would ask him to elaborate, and he couldn't do that right now, at least not yet, so instead he nodded and breathed deep and slow as Byakuya instructed, fingering the scarf that still bound his hands above his head. "It's o – okay, I k – know," he panted softly, cursing his voice for quivering. "M'sorry..."

"You have nothing to apologize for," Byakuya whispered, feeding softer kisses to his assistant as he gently rubbed his sides.

Renji released a deep groan of pleasure as his boss' slender hand slid down his body and wrapped around his cock, pumping him softly when he started to move again, easing himself the rest of the way inside the redhead with gentle, teasing, short thrusts of his hips until he was completely sheathed within Renji's slick, heated passage. For several long moments they simply laid there still and quiet, bodies finally joined, panting into the darkness and kissing languidly, their urgency somewhat quenched for the moment. The Kuchiki heir spread feather-soft kisses over Renji's muscled shoulders and toned chest, offering all the comfort he could to relax the man beneath him.

As Byakuya suckled a caramel nub into his mouth, stroking it lovingly with his tongue, the redhead took a few steadying breaths before he pushed his hips toward Byakuya to let him know he was ready. _You're okay, Renji, just relax and focus, _he instructed himself. _This is not the man who victimized you when you were a child, this is Byakuya Kuchiki. He is not doing this to you against your will like that guy did, he's given you every opportunity to say 'no' and he's been more than gentle and kind the whole time. You've wanted this forever, to have Byakuya like this, so don't blow it now by letting the memories take over..._

"Renji?" Byakuya's voice broke into Renji's thoughts, gentle and full of concern. He stroked Renji's hair and rubbed his sides as he pulled back and pushed back in shallowly. "Your face looks... pained. Does it hurt?"

"N – No," Renji managed through ragged, labored breaths. "I mean y – yes, it does a bit... But I'll be fine, it's starting to get better already. Just k – keep moving."

A look of uncertainty flashed over Byakuya's face, but finally he nodded and brought his lips back to Renji's, plundering his mouth sweetly as he began to move in and out steadily, shifting his hips so the head of his cock struck the bundle of nerves inside the redhead that made him arch his back and release a hard cry of pleasure, his head falling back onto the pillows as he trembled heavily. Tilting his head back to expose his throat which Byakuya immediately attacked with those sinfully sweet lips and that wet, hot tongue, he wrapped his legs around Byakuya's narrow waist, drawing him in deeper as they moved together among the silken sheets, their masculine sounds of ecstasy filling the room.

Raising himself up on his elbows to give himself more leverage, Byakuya thrusted harder and faster into the tight heat encasing his throbbing, achingly hard cock, the nobleman looked down at the man beneath him, once again marveling at the redhead's beauty; those garnet eyes closed to mere slits now and nearly black with lust, his thick crimson hair fanning out around his face, the muscles of his body straining desperately against Byakuya, his skin shining with moon-glow and sweat as his beautiful mouth opened to call Byakuya's name over and over, the raspy, thick strain of need in his voice making the dark-haired CEO ache with joy. Even in his loveliest of fantasies he could have never imagined anything more perfect, more enchanting than the sight of Renji Abarai in the throes of passion, because of _him_, no less.

Once again the Kuchiki heir felt tears rise in his eyes, his throat closing up with all the emotions swirling around inside him. He buried his face into Renji's neck, kissing and nipping there as he kept moving feverishly inside him, the waves of pleasure intensifying to unbearable heights until he couldn't hold himself back any longer.

"Oh God, Renji! _Renji_!" Byakuya cried out against Renji's wet shoulder, pounding repeatedly into the center of pleasure inside his body as hard as he could, his blunt fingernails raking down the redhead's back.

"Fuck! God, Byakuya, so damned good! Come inside me now, please... Come on!" Renji coaxed the raven-haired man over the edge, tightening his muscles around the cock inside him and thrusting back against him.

Byakuya gasped and shoved himself all the way inside Renji, going completely still as he yelled out sharply, releasing inside the redhead in hot bursts. After a few more jerky, uneven thrusts of his hips he went limp with an exhausted whimper, flattening Renji into the mattress as he melted into the redhead's body, nuzzling into his chest as he panted and trembled. Renji let out his own deep, purring rumble of contentment at the feeling of Byakuya's hot seed pulsing inside him, and couldn't stop a quiet whine as his boss' cock slipped out of him a moment later.

"Please, Byakuya," Renji pleaded softly after they'd laid their for a few minutes as Byakuya calmed down, their bodies slowly cooling off. He tugged at the scarf weakly. "Let me put my arms down now, I want to hold you."

"Yes," he nodded and pushed himself up on still slightly trembling arms, nimble fingers quickly untying the knots in the scarf and releasing him from his bonds. Renji sighed in relief, wiggling his fingers and moving his arms slowly to work out the tingling sleepiness, then pulled the noble back into his arms, giving him a slow, deep kiss. Byakuya responded in kind, rubbing Renji's sides lovingly, then settled himself back at the redhead's side, resting his head back on his chest and snuggling close. After a few moments of relaxing Renji carefully pulled the condom off Byakuya's softened member, throwing it away and helping the noble clean himself between soft kisses and gentle touches.

They lie there in the dark silence for a while, Byakuya idly tracing Renji's black tattoos with a finger while Renji stroked a rough hand through his long midnight locks. The crimson-haired assistant had nearly fallen asleep, almost entirely forgetting his own lingering arousal, when suddenly Byakuya's teeth were nibbling on his earlobe, his deep voice rumbling softly against Renji's neck.

"Will you make love to me, Renji?"

Renji shifted around to look at Byakuya, brushing an errant tress of midnight black off one blushing, moonlit cheek. "Do you want me to?" He asked softly, rubbing the petal-soft skin of Byakuya's face with his thumb.

Byakuya nodded, reaching down to palm Renji's still hardened length, fondling it slowly and eliciting a shivering groan from the redhead. "Yes, I have wanted you to for quite some time, in fact. Although I will ask you to go slowly at first, it has been a long time since I was taken by a man."

"Oh, you don't need to worry about that, I promise I'll go slow and be as careful as I possibly can be," Renji promised, turning and settling on top of the smaller man as he brought him in for a deep, slow kiss.

When their kiss broke, Renji picked up the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu, running his fingers across the smooth, light material. Byakuya watched him curiously as a devious smirk curled the redhead's mouth, his garnet eyes twinkling with mischief, then gasped when he draped the scarf over Byakuya's chest, mouthing a dusky rose colored nipple through the silk. The CEO moaned as his body subconsciously arched into the sensations, feeling his cock begin to stir back to life between his creamy thighs. Renji grinned impishly to himself, slowly 'torturing' the nipple to a hardened little pebble before moving on to the other side and giving the opposite nub the same treatment and then traveled downward, sinking his tongue into the other man's navel through the scarf. At a torturous, slow pace he peppered kisses over the flat plain of Byakuya's stomach, breathing hot air onto his stiffening cock, nearly chuckling at the strangled whimper that escaped the noble's parted, kiss-swollen lips.

Laying the scarf over the head of Byakuya's cock, Renji closed his mouth around his boss' length and began to suck him, licking around the fabric to give the juxtaposing sensation of his warm mouth and the cool scarf, smiling to himself when he tasted the lube he'd used was lightly flavored. He began to move up and down, sucking harder and deeper as his tongue ran along the throbbing underside vein, the writhing, moaning midnight-haired beauty above him rekindling his own lust. His mouth pleasured Byakuya's length to the very brink of completion before abruptly pulling away, wrapping the scarf around the noble's length as tightly as a cock ring to stave off his orgasm, prompting a disgruntled cry of discontent from his boss.

"Oh," the disheveled noble whimpered, tresses of silky raven hair falling into his cloudy, lust-filled gray eyes. "You are so cruel! Why must you tease me like this? Are you trying to drive me to the brink of insanity?"

Renji chuckled softly, his warm breath ghosting across Byakuya's stomach and making him squirm even more. "Hey, I'm just returning the favor of what you did to me, driving me fucking crazy! You know what they say about payback, don't you?"

Byakuya opened his mouth to object, but Renji covered his mouth and swallowed down the words, nipping and sucking at Byakuya's pale, beautiful mouth as they kissed. He then continued to pleasure the CEO's body with his mouth, trailing back up to lick and suckle his nipples, pushing his fingers into Byakuya's mouth. Once Byakuya had his fingers thoroughly slick with his saliva, Renji set about gently preparing him, alternating between holding the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu around the base of his cock and stroking him with the fabric, keeping him tormentingly right on the edge of release. Finally he'd stretched him as much as he could with his fingers, twisting his digits inside of Byakuya's tight entrance and stabbing at his prostate, smiling again at the lovely cry that erupted from the raven-haired man's throat as his body arched helplessly.

"E – Enough! Please, do not tease me any longer, Renji. I need you!" Byakuya begged desperately, wrapping his arms around the redhead and trying to pull him down closer.

_Oh God, the way he says my name! I've never heard it spoken like that, like it's the most precious word in the world to him... If he keeps calling for me like that, I won't be able to last long, as if I'm not going to have enough trouble controlling myself! _Renji smiled and kissed Byakuya warmly, then allowed him to stroke him to place a second condom on himself, moaning at the feeling of Byakuya stroking him as he did so, before Renji settled himself between his thighs, slowly pushing into him until he was completely sheathed. He rained kisses down Byakuya's pale throat and over his chest, closing his lips warmly around a pebbled nub as his hands rubbed soothing little circles on the CEO's slender hips.

Byakuya tilted his head back, moaning softly and panting as Renji's mouth and hands traveled over his skin, giving him a chance to adjust to being penetrated. Having been with other men in the past he expected the aching discomfort of being claimed, but what stunned him was the sudden rush of emotion the joining of their bodies sparked inside him, bringing tears to his eyes once again. He could have blamed his unusually high-strung emotions on the amount of stress he'd been under as of late, but deep down he had to admit to himself that it was something more than stress.

_No, it is him, being here with him like this. I can no longer deny there is something between us, and no matter how afraid I have been to give my heart to another besides my wife or how much I have struggled to keep my feelings for Renji at bay, now the floodgates are opened and there is nothing I can do to close them again. Even if I am still afraid, I must trust myself and him that he will not lead me to another heartbreak... Please, Renji, do not make me wrong again!_

"Byakuya, please talk to me, I need to hear you. Are you okay? Why are you crying?" Renji's soft inquiry broke through the Kuchiki heir's turbulently spinning thoughts. He gasped softly and opened his eyes, realizing the redhead was stroking his face to wipe away the wetness that he hadn't even realized had leaked onto his cheeks.

"Y – Yes, I am fine," he responded somewhat quiveringly, but seeing Renji's clear dissatisfaction with the answer, he sighed softly and ran his hands along the redhead's muscular sides, curling them around his hips and pulling him deeper, closer. "I just... did not anticipate feeling so strongly about us being like this together. I have not felt this... intensity of emotion since the last time I was with my wife before she passed away. If..." He bit his lip, adverting his eyes for a moment. The words stung in his chest, but he still couldn't deny their truth. "If I am being completely honest, I am not even sure I felt as strongly with her, or any of the lovers I have had. You..." He reached up and brushed an errant strand of wildly bright crimson behind Renji's shoulder, cupping a hand behind his head. "You are so unique, Renji, so _different _than anyone I have ever known, and the way you touch my heart is unlike anything I have felt before."

Renji stared down at Byakuya, completely taken aback by the words, his eyes softening as he kissed the raven-haired man several more times, deeply and tenderly, then experimentally shifted inside him. Byakuya hissed softly, raising his hips to meet Renji's thrust, their skin slapping together wetly. The pair moaned in unison, Renji beginning to move a bit deeper and harder as he felt Byakuya's body slowly relaxing, nipping and sucking down his creamy porcelain throat, grazing his teeth over the sensitive juncture of neck and shoulder, causing a louder, hungrier moan from Byakuya as he tilted his head to the side. Their movements soon became feverish as they rocked together, Renji thrusting in hard and fast and striking the center of pleasure inside Byakuya as their mouths and hands explored everywhere they could reach together. Within moments Renji felt his release nearing, his head falling back as Byakuya attacked his throat, squeezing his ass and driving their bodies together over and over. Byakuya traced Renji's tattoos with teeth and tongue, sucking on the pulse point of his throat as his hand reached around and grabbed onto the loose thick strands of vibrant red, giving a soft tug.

"Fuck! Oh shit, Byakuya, yes! Do that again!" Renji cried out, ramming himself into the CEO's prone body harder, blunt fingers digging into the skin of his sides.

Byakuya smiled against Renji's sweaty neck, clenching his muscles to make his body even tighter around the redhead's cock, sensing how close he was, and obliged the command as he gave the rope of crimson in his hand a good, hard yank.

Renji gasped and stilled, buried deep inside Byakuya's passage, biting down into a sculpted shoulder to muffle his yell as his body shuddered with release, hearing Byakuya release a purring groan of pleasure at the feeling of being filled with his heat. He reached down between them and wrapped his fingers around Byakuya's cock with the scarf, giving it a few rough strokes until the noble's body seized up and his seed pulsed, hot and sticky, onto their bodies. Finally they collapsed together, panting and trembling as they exchanged luxurious, slow, warm kisses. They laid there like that for what felt like hours, letting their bodies slowly cool off and their heartbeats return to normal, then Byakuya threw away the second used condom and got up to retrieve a few towels so they could wipe themselves off. Once he returned and they had a chance to clean up completely, Byakuya crawled back into the bed and curled himself around Renji warmly, resting his head on the redhead's shoulder.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go back to my own room? If one of your attendants were to come in and see us..." Renji asked a bit worriedly, craning his neck to look down at Byakuya.

"Hmm, I assure you that everyone on my staff exercises the utmost discretion when it comes to my private life, as I require them to. However, if you feel uncomfortable with the prospect of them knowing about us, you are free to return to your own room. Though I must say I do prefer to have you stay," Byakuya answered softly.

"Well, as long as you don't think it will cause any trouble, I'd much rather sleep here next to you tonight, I'm too warm and comfortable to get up anyway."

"Very well, then. Goodnight, Renji," Byakuya said quietly, snuggling down.

"Night, Byakuya," Renji smiled, running a hand up and down the other man's side and playing with the ends of his raven-black hair.

Within minutes Byakuya's soft breath evened and deepened, signaling that he had fallen to sleep. It took Renji a while longer, his mind whirling with everything that had happened, but soon he joined Byakuya in slumber, his face nuzzled sweetly into his silken hair.

For the first time in weeks, Byakuya slept through the rest of the night undisturbed without a single other nightmare.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Now that we've gotten the first smut out of the way, the next chapter will get more into the plot of the story, and I will also explain a bit more about the flashbacks Renji is having and the past abuse he's suffered. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and that you'll stay tuned!

**Love,**

**-Hotaru Nakama**


	6. Exchanges and Suspicions

**Exchanges and Suspicion**

Byakuya slowly awoke the next morning, feeling the post-coital effects but still warm and content from the previous night. His brow furrowed slightly, not feeling the weight and heat from Renji's body and opened his eyes to look around the sunlit room, relaxing when he saw the redhead propped up on an elbow on the edge of the bed, curiously examining the pictures he had sitting on his nightstand; another of him and Hisana, one of Hisana by herself, and a third of another couple who Renji assumed to be Byakuya's parents. If his suspicions were correct, Byakuya was nearly an identical twin of his father.

The Kuchiki heir smiled a bit, scooting himself over and wrapping his arms around the redhead from behind, kissing his shoulder and gently resting his chin there. "Good morning. Are you enjoying the photographs of my family?"

Renji startled a bit, then smiled and snuggled down in Byakuya's tender embrace, turning his face to capture the other man's lips in a light kiss of greeting before he looked back at the photos. "Yeah, they're great. I guess I'm kinda fascinated by _everyone's _family since the only one I ever had consisted of my friends who took care of each other in the Rukongai, and I never had any parents at all," he said, although Byakuya noted his words held no self-pity, just simple fact. He pointed to the picture of the couple who looked around the same ages that Byakuya and Renji were presently. "Was that your mom and dad?"

Byakuya reached over Renji to pick up the picture, bringing it closer as Renji snuggled more deeply against his side and rested his head on his shoulder. "Soujun and Mokoto Kuchiki, my parents. I was told this picture was taken about three years before I was born. My mother died when I was five due to advanced brain cancer, and my father passed away just days before my eighth birthday."

"What happened to him?" Renji interrupted, the question tender and softly spoken.

Byakuya sighed quietly, running a hand up and down Renji's arm, his voice taking on the same note of sorrow as when he'd talked about Hisana. "He was killed in a car accident while away on business, I was told it was a head-on collision at the fault of a drunk driver and my father died instantly. After that my paternal grandfather, Ginrei, took me in and raised me until I was eighteen."

"Oh. Is your grandfather still around?" Renji turned his face to look up at the other man, trying not to get distracted by how beautiful he looked and the enticing way his lips moved when he spoke.

"No," Byakuya answered quietly, pressing his lips together into a thin line. "He died two years ago after a severe stroke. He now rests in the family cemetery along with my grandmother, parents and wife."

Renji found himself gazing up at Byakuya with his mouth slightly agape, totally at a loss for what to say. _Damn, I had no idea that he'd been through so much, losing everyone he loved like that. I never had a family, but I can't imagine what it would be like to have one and then lose them all. No wonder you're so closed off to everyone now, all the people you once love have left you, and each one broke your heart a little more each time. Hisana was probably the final straw. A heart can only be shattered so many times before it shuts down to all emotion completely. _ He sighed softly and nuzzled the raven-haired CEO's soft, porcelain throat. "Damn," he muttered. "I'm sorry, I had no idea you'd lost so many loved ones. That..." _Fucking sucks, _he thought, but decided against saying it aloud. "That's horrible."

"Do not waste your pity on me, I am not unlike anyone who has lost people dear to them, we all experience death at one point or another. You certainly are no stranger to losing ones that you cared for, living in a place like Rukongai."

"Well yeah," Renji agreed, idly twirling a lock of Byakuya's hair around his index finger. "But none of the people I lost there were actually family..."

Byakuya met the redhead's garnet eyes meaningfully. "Did you love them?"

"Yes, we all loved each other a lot. We were all each other had, and we looked after each other and took care of one another the best that we could," Renji answered thoughtfully, feeling his chest tighten in the way it always did when he thought of the friends he and Rukia had lost.

"Then do not ever let yourself believe you did not have a family, because you did. Blood is not the tie that binds us together, Renji, _love _is," he reached under the blankets and pressed his hand over his assistant's softly beating heart, causing Renji to shiver at the contact and subconsciously press closer to the body curled next to his own. "It is what we feel and how we treat one another, what we do for one another that makes us family. And by that theory, you and the others in Inuzuri were more of a family than most who are genetically connected to each other."

Renji grinned and leaned up to Byakuya for a warm kiss. "Damn, you're good at giving speeches like that, Mr. Kuchiki."

The raven-haired man blanched at the name. "Renji, I would expect that after what happened between us last night that you would, in the very least, feel comfortable enough around me to use my first name. Addressing me so formally when I am laying naked beside you in bed is... _obscene_."

Renji chuckled and released the noble long enough to let him place the picture back on the nightstand before pulling him close again, brushing his thick hair away from his neck and placing a line of soft, wet kisses down to his shoulder. "Sorry, Byakuya, you know what they say about breaking old habits, but in any case, thanks, it was a nice thing for you to say."

Byakuya's lips curled into a soft smile as he pulled Renji back against his warm, bare chest. "I said it only because it is the truth."

Renji smiled and snuggled under the blankets, enjoying the closeness of the others' body curled around his and breathing in the sweet aroma of Byakuya's cherry blossom scented shampoo. They laid in silence for several moments until Byakuya glanced at the man resting against him and caught sight of the redhead worrying at his bottom lip with his teeth.

"Penny for your thoughts?" The CEO asked softly.

Renji sighed softly, moving from Byakuya's embrace and sitting at the edge of the bed, pooling the blankets in his lap to cover his exposed lower body. "I don't know, I was just thinking about, you know... Us and what happened last night. You were in a really vulnerable state and I just wondered... Do you really feel that way toward me or was it just...?" Renji trailed off, not sure how to phrase the rest of the question that wouldn't insult his boss.

Byakuya shifted and settled himself behind Renji, wrapping his arms around the redhead and seeking one of his rough, warm hands, entwining their fingers. "How is it that we can take so many steps forward in revealing to each other how we feel, and yet still manage to misunderstand each other so dreadfully?" He sighed softly, resting his chin on the redhead's shoulder. "I suppose I know the answer to that already, seeing as how I have portrayed myself has not always reflected what is in my heart, but please do not be mistaken about this. It is not everyday that I welcome someone into my bed and freely offer my body to them, and I would not choose just anyone to do so. Last night happened because I feel very deeply for you, Renji, and because I wanted to show you the true nature of those feelings. You are special to me, and I would like to flatter myself in thinking you reciprocate that back to me. I wasn't, and still am not looking for a one night stand."

Renji slowly relaxed in Byakuya's arms, releasing a breath of relief. "Good, I mean I didn't really think you were that type of guy, but I'm glad to hear that. And I do feel the same, obviously, I was just worried that it might make things awkward because of us working together."

"We will need to proceed with caution because of our professional relationship, and a certain level of discretion should be exercised as we move forward. I am neither suggesting that we leap blindly into a serious relationship or that we simply forget anything happened between us... I only wish for us to spend more time together on a personal level and see where it takes us."

Renji gave him one of his famous toothy, wolfish grins as he peeked back at the noble over his shoulder. "Yeah, I'd like that a lot, too."

Byakuya's lips curved into a genuine, soft smile and kissed Renji softly on the lips, the chaste contact enough to ignite the passions that had been previously placated and gave him the urge to pull the redhead back under the covers to enjoy one another more deeply, but to his disappointment Renji instead disentangled himself from the noble's arms, standing up and wrapping his sleeping robe around himself.

"Well, I better get going," he said with a yawn and lazy stretch of his arms, pulling his boxers on.

"You will not stay and have breakfast with me? We could drive to the office together," Byakuya suggested, hating the idea of Renji leaving.

"That's a real nice offer, and very tempting, but I need to go home to change clothes before I go into the office, I want to go in a bit earlier to make sure everything got done properly yesterday. Ya know, Rikichi is a good kid but sometimes he can be a little... Uh..."

"Inept?" Byakuya supplied for him, suppressing a smirk as he closed his eyes.

"Aw, now that's a little harsh, I was gonna say 'less than perfect' when it comes to work related tasks. But anyway, there's checking in to the office, and I also wanted to stop in at the hospital and check on Momo."

"I see, very well then, I shall see you later at the office?"

Renji nodded. "Sure thing, but hey, would you mind if I grabbed a quick shower first?"

Byakuya nodded in return as he stood up and pulled on his own yukata and pair of underwear. "Certainly, help yourself to either my bathroom or the one off your own room. I would offer to join you, but it seems you are in somewhat of a hurry."

Renji smiled, walking around the other side of the bed and pulling Byakuya against him, kissing his warm lips and smoothing down his midnight hair. "Mm, another extremely tempting suggestion, but I think if I got you in the shower with me I might never leave!" He laughed. "Can we keep the offer on the table for next time?"

"Of course," Byakuya responded with another kiss before Renji stepped back and turned for the door.

"You'll probably wanna freshen up some, too, so I'll use the shower in my bathroom," the redhead said before he disappeared down the hall, quietly whistling to himself as he went.

Once he reached the bathroom he shut and locked the door behind him, then disrobed while turning on the water and letting it get hot before stepping under the nearly scalding spray – ahh, just the way he liked it – and beginning to wash. As he wet his hair and reached the shampoo he let his mind wander back to the night he'd spent with his boss, his garnet eyes drifting closed as the images filled his mind, remembering the damp softness of Byakuya's skin under his fingers as his hands ran along his own body, the joining of their bodies and the sight and sound of the beautiful nobleman completely undone in ecstasy, not realizing how the memories were riling him until his hand drifted lower and was met with swollen, hot flesh. He sighed softly, regretting his choice not to have Byakuya accompany him. Letting his hand drift down and wrap around his erection, he leaned against the wall and allowed the fantasy to take over as he squeezed the head gently and began to slowly pump himself, coaxing himself toward orgasm as he imagined Byakuya kneeling in front of him with his pretty mouth wrapped tightly around his cock, sliding up and down while his fingers penetrated the redhead's entrance and searched for that little bundle of nerves to send him over the edge. His breath hitched as his pleasure reached its peak, tugging on his cock eagerly as he struggled to keep his grunts and moans quiet so no one would hear him, then just as he reached the edge of completion a voice sounded in his mind, deep and smooth like dark honey but not belonging to Byakuya.

"_Oh Renji, such a pretty little dog... Such a pretty and obedient little dog..."_

The redhead's garnet eyes flew open and darted around the steamy bathroom, trembling now not from pleasure but fear, his erection slowly wilting in his fingers. Renji put his hands over his face and leaned more heavily against the wall, panting as he tried to calm his racing heart and shaking body.

"Dammit..." He muttered to himself, running his fingers through his wet hair. "Why can't I get him out of my fucking head? Why can't I just forget about it? It happened so long ago, I shouldn't still be so haunted by it... Get a grip on yourself, Abarai."

Finally composing himself, Renji quickly washed his body and hair before stepping out of the shower and drying off with one of the soft, fluffy towels and then went back to his room to get dressed. When he finally walked downstairs Byakuya was just sitting down at the dining room table with the plate of food Sukina had made up for him. Feeling a bit shy with all of the noble's attendants milling about the house doing their morning chores, he cleared his throat softly to get Byakuya's attention before giving him a little smile and waving somewhat awkwardly.

"Um, I'll see you later, Bya – I mean, Mr. Kuchiki," he said softly, then turned for the door, nodding politely at Sukina as she walked by. He was nearly outside when he felt the warmth of a body standing close behind him, and wondered briefly at how Byakuya managed to get over to him so fast when he felt something soft being wrapped around his throat. He looked down and touched one end of the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu, then looked at his boss questioningly.

Byakuya smirked as he leaned in close to Renji, his warm breath disturbing the hairs on his neck as he whispered into the shell of a dark tan ear. "Unless _you_ would like to explain to my attendants what activities we engaged in that require my scarf to be re-washed, I would suggest that you personally see that it gets cleaned. You may return it to me after you have done so."

Renji grinned wryly back at him, pressing his nose gently into one porcelain cheek. "Aw, you mean I don't get to keep it as a souvenir?"

"Hmm," Byakuya mused, smoothing down the silken tails over Renji's shoulders. "If you show me that you are capable of keeping it in the same pristine condition as I have kept it all these years, I will consider it."

"Deal," Renji agreed, letting his lips brush over the same cheek he was nuzzled into, then stepped onto the porch and started for the cab he'd called to pick him up. "See ya later, boss!"

"Until later, Renji," Byakuya called back, then added as Renji climbed into the back of his taxi. "Remember, my scarf is dry-clean only!"

"You mean _my _new scarf is dry-clean only! Yeah, yeah, I got it," Renji waved him off, shutting the door behind him and buckling in, sending Byakuya a saucy wink as the cab began to descend the long drive-way.

Byakuya shook his head, smoky eyes full of affection watching the cab drive away, then went back inside to where his breakfast waited to be eaten.

Renji gazed out the window as they whizzed past the gated mansions on the hill and headed back toward Siereitei City, a light smile on his lips as he fingered the fine silk of Byakuya's scarf, burying his nose in the soft material and breathing in the scent of cherry blossoms and Byakuya's own delicate but distinctly masculine scent. A warmth spread through his entire body as he thought of what it represented for them; Byakuya hadn't simply given him one of his personal items, but had silently presented the redhead with a sign of his mutual respect, trust and admiration, things Byakuya Kuchiki did not easily give to another.

_And I won't let any of those feelings you're starting to have for me go to waste, either, _he thought resolutely._ We have a long journey ahead of us, but together we'll move forward and learn how to leave the traumas in our past behind us. _His eyes hardened in determination as he thought of what happened in the shower and the memories that plagued him when he and Byakuya made love. _**All **of our past traumas..._

* * *

><p>Toshiro Hitsugaya tucked his legs under him in the big overnight chair they'd brought into his sister's hospital room, trying to focus on the words in front of him as he read aloud to her from their favorite book in attempt to drown out the monotonous, incessant beeping of machines and the raspy, labored breaths Momo struggled to take. His cerulean eyes once again strayed from the page to the unconscious raven-haired woman lying in the hospital bed, her too pale face and the bandages wrapped around her mid-section that concealed the healing gash that extended from the top of her ribcage to just past her hipbone, a wound inflicted by her once trusted and beloved boss who crept into her apartment and made an attempt on her life with a butcher knife he retrieved from her kitchen. Her younger brother's blood turned to ice in his veins as Momo's terrified scream rang through his mind and he visualized himself leaping out of bed and dashing into the hall to find Sosuke Aizen standing outside her bedroom, his three-piece suit covered in blood and the cold blade of the knife winking in the dim light coming from the lamp they usually left on in the bathroom.<p>

"_Why, hello, Little Shiro," his velvety, deep voice said almost off-handedly as he smiled, although there was an oddly harsh gleam in his brown eyes framed by thin-wire glasses. His fingers tightened on the knife, moving into a defensive fighting stance. _

"_Aizen, what the hell are you doing here?" Toshiro growled, his eyes narrowing on his sister's boss, trying to remember where he'd left his baseball bat, the black one his grandmother gave him for his thirteenth birthday with a blue dragon painted along the side. It wouldn't do much compared to the knife, but at least he could hold him off if need be. His eyes darted into the darkened room behind Aizen. "Momo!"_

"_Be quiet or you'll wake her up," Aizen said, a cold edge to his words that was uncharacteristic of the soft-spoken, kindly man, but Toshiro had always quietly suspected was there just beneath the surface of his preternatural sweet demeanor. "You should just go back to bed, Little Shiro. Children need their rest."_

"_You bastard! What have you done to her? If she's hurt I swear on my life I'll kill you!" The snowy-haired man yelled, charging at the taller CEO heedless of the fact that he was unarmed. He managed to knock Aizen off his feet and they wrestled, Toshiro getting in a few good blows, but ultimately even though his strength was surprising for one his size, it was still no match for the blade Aizen wielded. He heard rather than felt the shiny metal plunge into his core, the sickening wet squishing noise of the blade cutting through soft tissue and innards, then warmth rushed through and out of him as crimson flooded out of him through the wound, pooling on the hardwood floor._

_The last thing he saw before the blackness swept over him and brought him crashing onto the floor was Aizen's wickedly smiling face and twinkling chocolate eyes._

"I'm so sorry, Momo," the snowy haired twenty-three year old, who was born with a rare form of dwarfism that made him look closer to the age of twelve, whispered as he sat forward and took his sister's unresponsive hand. "I should have double checked to make sure the door was locked before I went to bed that night. I should have woken up sooner before Aizen had a chance to reach you. I should have..."

"Knock, knock," Renji's voice cut into the quiet of the room, interrupting Toshiro's apology.

Toshiro startled a bit, then relaxed when he saw Momo's old academy friend. "Oh, hi there, Renji. Please, come in and pull up a chair."

Renji thanked him quietly and moved to the other side of the bed, sitting down in a hard-backed, uncomfortable chair that was comically too small for him, leaning forward and taking Momo's opposite hand, speaking in a hushed voice. "Hey kiddo, how ya doin' today?"

Toshiro set his book on the small table beside the bed, running a hand over his face and through his hair in frustration. "Still no major change from when she first arrived here, as you can see she isn't responsive and has yet to open her eyes. She still has some internal bleeding that Dr. Isane is trying her best to manage and has mostly under control, but she also says that in general her vitals are stable for the moment. She has a very long road to recovery ahead of her when... and if... she wakes up."

"Aw, she'll wake up when she's ready, there's no 'ifs' about it, right, little girl?" Renji answered optimistically, squeezing his old friend's hand and leaning in close to whisper in her ear loud enough that Toshiro could hear. "Ya gotta stop making your little bro here worry so much, you'll make his hair turn white," he glanced over at the young man, grinning impishly, "Oh, whoops, sorry."

"Ha-ha, very funny," Toshiro grumbled petulantly, slouching in his chair and glaring at the redhead assistant while crossing his arms over his chest so it appeared that his arms disappeared into his shirt's long sleeves.

Renji chuckled, but his smile quickly faded when he saw the snowy-haired man's head loll back tiredly against the headrest, noticing for the first time how blood-shot his eyes were and the deep, purplish-black circles beneath them. The poor guy probably hadn't slept for days. "So, uh, how're you holdin' up?" He asked, scratching the back of his neck.

"I'm _fine_," Toshiro snapped in annoyance, emphasizing the word the way people do when they are trying their damnedest to convince you but they are most certainly anything but fine.

Renji put up his hands in a 'I-mean-no-harm' gesture. "Hey, you don't need to get so defensive, I'm just asking. I know you feel responsible for what happened..."

"I don't want to talk about this," Toshiro bristled, picking up his book and flipping it to a random page to pretend like he wasn't listening, but Renji came around the bed and snatched it from his hand, kneeling down to make himself eye-level with the other man.

"Look, none of it was your fault even if you think it was. Aizen, Gin and Tousen pulled one over on all of us... You need to stop beating yourself up and blaming yourself for this..."

"Mind your own damn business, Abarai!" the younger man growled, his eyes growing angry. Renji saw Toshiro's hands balling into fists.

"Momo wouldn't blame you for what -"

"Yes, she would! She would and she _does_! I know she thinks it's my fault because she told me herself! You don't know anything, so just shut the hell up!" Toshiro erupted, angry red splotches appearing on his cheeks, taking in ragged gasps of air between tirades. He glared at Renji with hard, icy blue-green eyes.

Renji's face paled, looking stricken. "She – _What_? She told you that, when? Why in the _hell_ would Momo say that to you?"

Toshiro's shoulders hunched as he drew back, looking down at his sister with his mouth drawn in a tight frown, his voice wavering, "Because, Aizen told her it was me."

Renji's eyebrows drew together, shaking his head slowly in confusion.

Toshiro rubbed his forehead and took a deep breath, biting down on his lip as he continued. "Two days before Aizen came to attack Momo and I, an envelope with her name on it arrived in our mail, there was no return address. It came in the morning so Momo took it with her to read at work and I left for my own office, then later on at lunch – which I was working through instead of taking my break – Momo stormed in to my office, sobbing and angry. She was crying so hard that I could barely understand what she was saying, but she had the letter that came for her clutched in one hand and she just kept screaming, 'It was you! It's all been you! Your fault!' I tried calming her down for several minutes, but she was getting more and more hysterical as time went on until I finally had to call security for back-up. Right before they arrived she lept across my desk to attack me and I..." He adverted his eyes to the floor, his voice trembling and choked when he continued. "I h – hit her and knocked her out. When security walked in the police were right behind them, saying that Gin's assistant, Izuru had been taken in earlier that day after he and Momo had some kind of argument. She must have went to him first to find out if he knew anything."

"That was the same night Byakuya... er, Mr. Kuchiki and I got into a fight about Rukia and he called the cops on me. I heard the prison guards talking about some woman that had just been brought in, but I didn't realize it was Momo. Do you know what she meant by, 'it's all your fault'? Did you see what Aizen wrote to her in that letter?"

"Unfortunately, no, in her outrage she crumpled and tore up the note and I wasn't able to piece it back together enough to decipher what he said. In any case, he likely revealed to her what his plan is, but told her all of it was my idea and that he was just a pawn in my scheme," Toshiro released a weary breath, resting his chin in his hand. "And I must have done something terribly wrong if she was so quick to believe him."

"Come on now, don't do that to yourself. I can't think of any brother and sister who are closer than you and Momo, she knows that you'd never do anything to hurt anybody. Aizen just has a knack for getting insides people's heads and fucking with them," Renji said reassuringly, thinking back to Byakuya's nightmare and the sheer terror that had overcome the normally strong, unaffected CEO.

"I'm not so certain that is all, but thank you for saying so."

Both men looked over when another, deep male voice sounded from the doorway. "I thought I heard shouting, is everything all right?"

"Ah, hey there, Rin," Renji said to the gray-eyed, tall young man with long, wild teal hair who stood in the doorway, looking at the redhead a bit skeptically.

This was Hyorinmaru, one of Toshiro's subordinates and the only person besides Momo that was close to Hitsugaya on a personal level. While Rangiku Matsumoto technically held the position of Toshiro's assistant, the strawberry blond woman could be a bit flighty and unreliable, so Toshiro looked to Hyorinmaru for most things, considering him to be his partner and right-hand man. Some people liked to speculate that something deeper than friendship existed between them, but both men stayed tight-lipped on the subject. Whatever the case may be, Renji figured that it was no one's business except their own, considering how protective he felt about his own budding relationship with Byakuya.

Toshiro and Hyorinmaru were slightly at odds in appearance what with Toshiro's more straight-laced style as opposed to Hyorinmaru's somewhat punkish sensibility that was completed by an ice blue 'X' tattooed right across his face, but they seemed to complement each other well in every other way, both of them quiet and serious in nature. They almost seemed like two sides of one soul, and Renji supposed they'd be good for each other if they were together romantically.

"Renji," Hyorinmaru said as means of greeting with a slight bow of his head, then made his way over to Toshiro and deposited a cup of tea in his hands, keeping a second one for himself as he settled in next to the snowy-haired CEO.

"Thank you, Hyorinmaru," Toshiro said gratefully, taking a long sip of the green tea. "And yes, everything is fine, don't worry."

"Yeah, in fact, I think I better get going, anyway," Renji announced while standing up and stretching his muscles. "Got some things to do before I head into work. Call me if there's anything I can do, or if Momo's condition changes any, okay? I'll come back at some point to check on her again."

Toshiro nodded in acquiescence, watching the crimson-haired assistant head toward the door. "Renji?" He asked curiously, raising one pale eyebrow.

"Yeah?" Renji asked, turning around to face him again.

"Why do you have Mr. Kuchiki's scarf around your neck?"

"Ah," Renji's cheeks flushed nearly as deep red as his hair as he fingered the scarf bashfully. "He, uh, asked me to get it cleaned for him."

"I see..." Toshiro nodded slowly, a look of amusement touching his features that made Renji blush harder, if that was even possible.

Renji cleared his throat and started back out of the room, but stopped when Toshiro said his name for a second time, the younger man's face deadly serious this time when Renji turned around.

"Be careful," Toshiro warned in a low voice. "Whatever Aizen, Gin and Tousen are up to, I have a feeling they're not finished with us yet. We haven't seen the last of them."


End file.
